I refuse to believe he has Belle. Because if it is and Hook is right about how Pan would treat my sister for betraying him… I can’t think of that. I want her to be alive and well and waiting for me on that blasted island.
“Tell me about Tinkerbell,” he says, then waits as I collect my thoughts.
I pick at the pillow’s edge. “I don’t know her as Tinkerbell. Like you saw on the video, to me, she’s just Belle. She’s my sister and she’s all I have. All I know.”
“What do you know about the shadows?”
“Not much. Or if I did, I’ve forgotten.”
Hook is quiet for a moment. “Smee believes our memories will come back when our shadows are returned,” he says. The vulnerability in his voice makes me want to burst into tears.
Hope is a life preserver for us all.
I nod, unable to speak.
Hook meets my eyes. “I’ll remind you of your name and of Belle until we find her. I keep rather detailed journals to jog my memory.” He nods to a stack of books tucked into his glass case. “You’re welcome to write down whatever you’d like. You can keep your memories safe on parchment until your shadow is returned.”
“I’d appreciate that.” My tear-blurred eyes sweep toward the quill on his desk.
He reaches into his pocket and withdraws my phone, holding it out for me to take. The best peace offering ever, in my opinion. I clasp the rectangle and notice that only twenty-two percent of my battery remains, then press the buttons to turn off the device. I’ll conserve the battery’s life for as long as I can.
I’ve never wanted a phone charger so badly. With access to my phone, I could speak and type notes. I could see Belle’s face and watch our videos. Videos that have our home in the background.
With those, I would never forget her or why I’m here.
I decide to remind myself repeatedly through the days and nights. Starting now.
Belle is on Neverland. My sister is Overshadowed. I have to find her before Pan does.
I’m afraid I won’t be able to.
Terrified that the shadows controlling her don’t want to be found.
The thought of never finding her and being stranded here like all these men is too much. Every possibility is more terrifying than the last, and together they seem insurmountable.
I turn away from Hook as my shoulders cave and tears begin to flow down my cheeks like waterfalls. Standing abruptly from the bed, I start toward the door. But Hook is fast. He sweeps in front of me.
I finally lift my eyes and wait for him to tell me that if I can’t stand these thoughts, there’s no way I’ll last on Neverland. Or like Belle has a thousand times, tell me that I don’t belong in his world, in his quarters, or even on his ship.
Instead, he opens his arms and pulls me into his chest. His fingers smooth my hair as he rests his chin on my head.
He feels so solid. So strong. And I desperately wish that strength was something I could siphon from him because I feel like mine is gone.
It’s such a relief to finally be understood, to have someone to help me in this endeavor, that I can’t help but sob. I’m so damn scared I can barely think.
My hands grip his sides as I raise my head. “Belle stole the first shadow for him, didn’t she?”
“Yes,” he quietly affirms.
My gut twists when I consider Belle’s heart. I’m not sure there’s anything I can do to make her hate me. Belle would love me through anything. What if she still carries love for Pan, even if she hates what he did and what he became? Would she seek him out? Curious to see if distance from the shadows and time to grow up helped make him a better soul?
What if her love for him, her hope for him, gets her killed?
He lifts his head and I hear his crew’s muffled voices. My fingers tense on his sides. “What is it?” I ask, dread climbing up my throat.
“The lights of town glow in the distance.”
A knock at the door startles us and I jump away from him as Smee pulls the doors open. He looks both of us over and hooks a thumb over his shoulder. “North port, or west?”