Page 110 of The Last Lost Girl

“I feel Pan,” I tell Belle.

Hudson hears us and his countenance darkens. He grinds his teeth so hard I worry they’ll break. “How fortunate that you’re so in tune with him,” he snaps before shouting to Kingston.

My breath catches at the anger in his tone.

Belle nudges me meaningfully, then leans in and whispers, “He hates Pan, Ava. And part of him lays within you.”

He won’t hurt me, I mouth.

Kingston can’t see anyone standing on the shore. He says it’s too dark, but the shore is luminous under the stars’ dual light. If there was someone or something on it, their contrast would be stark. Like obsidian against silver.

I see a Pan-shaped silhouette but know that he’s tucked himself away in shade again. The coward is hiding. Or maybe it’s part of the mind game he’s playing just with me.

“Do you see him?” I ask Belle.

She slowly shakes her head. “No.”

“I don’t see a thing. How can you tell he’s –” Hudson’s eyes fall to my chest, where the vines lift from my skin and reach out to him, toward the beach. He mutters a curse.

I can’t – can’t – stop looking toward the sand where Pan is waiting. Watching. Taunting me.

News of the skiff’s return spreads through the ship’s bowels and even Sydney emerges to see who made it out of Neverland alive. The small boat skims the water, leaving an ever-expanding V-shaped wake behind it. I still can’t make out the occupants’ features, but think Kingston was right when he said there were two.

Not three.

I pad to the bow, aware of each step. And though it’s only feet, the closer to Pan I walk, the more my shadows strain toward him.

The clock feels like a heartbeat against my breastbone; each tick is a thunderous, urgent thump.

A thin, dark fog billows from Pan’s outstretched hands and spreads over the water to the ship. It embraces the hull. Boards begin to groan. Sailors startle, then spread to see what’s causing the distress.

No one else notices him or the mist, but it’s cool as it stretches up the bow and spreads across my skin. In it, I hear Pan call my name.

He sounds so close. Too close. A shiver scuttles up my spine.

In the water below me, Nyin appears and offers a warning. “I know he’s there. Thank you for warning me, Nyin.”

How can she sense him when no one else can?

I thought she was healed, but now I wonder if the salve didn’t remove all his magic from her body. Maybe like me, she retains a sliver that’s powerful enough that imagining what more would feel like is impossible.

My hands start to shake when the shadows within begin to wrench me closer. I dig my feet into the boards and lean backward.

Nyin watches me, quietly talking to herself. Ready to help if they toss me overboard.

I stand like that for several long minutes.

Until suddenly, Pan releases his magic and I stumble backward a step.

Belle’s voice startles me. I didn’t realize she was anywhere near me. “The skiff is here.” I hear it knock against the hull. “Are you okay?” she asks.

I nod. I know she can’t see him, but wonder. “You didn’t see him?”

“No, I couldn’t see him, Ava.”

“Could you feel him just now?”

“Yes, but not on the shore,” she answers carefully. She hesitates for a long moment. “I felt him in you.”

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