Page 87 of 4th Degree

I scramble to think of a reason they’ll accept. Because I’ve gotten close enough with the girls—and I know Remy well enough now—that I know they’ll push for a real reason.

“I…finally signed up for that jiu-jitsu tournament this weekend,” I blurt out.

Remy’s eyebrows shoot to her hairline. “No shit? That’s awesome. Congrats on making the leap. You’ll do great.”

Nerves immediately start to seep in. I did sign up for the tournament, but I have yet to feel good about it. Most of the time when I think about it, I just feel fear.

“You think so?” I manage to ask. “You don’t think I’m doing it too early?”

“No way,” Lucy assures me now. “You train harder than any other white belt and you’ve already got a crazy competitive spirit. It’ll be a good test and a great learning experience, no matter which way it goes.”

I nod, feeling comforted by their belief in me.

“Plus, the officials of that tournament love Coach,” she continues. “So being a Bulldog MMA competitor practically gives you a leg up on the competition.”

I pause in pulling my rashguard on. I’ve been dying to ask about Dominic outside of my relationship with him, but couldn’t figure out a way to do that stealthily.

“So, his name is pretty respected in the fight world?” I ask carefully.

Remy snorts. “Respected is putting it mildly. He’s like the golden boy of Philly MMA and the poster child for the ideal fight career. Came up early, fought to get recognized, made a dent in the MMA world at the peak of his career, and then became the best kind of coach when he retired. He’s the coach everyone wishes they could have.”

Pride swells in my chest at hearing that. Not just because of his illustrious fight career, but because he’s respected in this world. He’s everything I hoped he would be when I first walked through the gym doors.

“I swear, sometimes I want to shake the newbies who walk in here and complain about his coaching style,” Lucy says with an eye roll. “They think because he pushes them hard and demands more than they want to give, that he’s an unfair coach. They have no idea what a bad coach looks like.”

I turn to her, startled. “You started somewhere else?”

She glances at Remy. “I did. Remy was lucky enough to start here. She never had to go through what I did.”

I glance between them. “Do you mind if I ask what happened?”

Lucy avoids looking at me by stuffing her sweatshirt into a cubby. “The usual. Unfortunately, being a woman in a sport as male dominated as this one can open you up to some sexist experiences.” She sighs in defeat and turns toward me. “Look, I trained at two gyms before this one. Neither were good. The first one just treated me as inferior to the boys and never gave me any attention or opportunities, but the second one…that one was bad. Like, sexual harassment bad.”

My eyes widen. “Holy shit, seriously?”

She nods stiffly. “Turns out, he—he being the owner—had done the same thing to every female who wanted to fight. It’s not uncommon, unfortunately. When there’s such a power imbalance between male coaches and female fighters, a lot of times the women end up in situations where they feel they need to…do things to earn the right to fight. One of the girls actually got pregnant. That’s when everything about him came to light.”

Somehow, my eyes go even wider. “Jesus. He got shut down, though, right?”

She shakes her head, sadness in her eyes. “Nope. He still has a gym, and he’s still coaching fighters.”

I blink, speechless.

“Do you know that we had a woman sign up here last week who signed up because Coach didn’t ask her out at the end of the consultation?” Remy says. “Apparently, at the last gym she tried, both of the instructors asked for her number after class.”

My stare turns to Remy.

She gives me a sad smile. “We’re really lucky with Coach. Not all women in this sport have it as good as we do. You know how nice it is to learn from someone who doesn’t try to fuck you as payment for private lessons?”

My heart plummets. Fuck.

That’s not what he’s doing with me, right? No, of course not, that’s insane. I can read people well enough to know that’s not why he’s interested in me. Besides, I made the first move. And he fought too hard against giving in to be playing that kind of game with me. Is this what the rest of the fight coaching world looks like? Is this what he’s setting himself apart from?

Is this what he’s risking, being with me?

Guilt sours my stomach.

“None of that is to scare you,” Lucy hurries to say, seeing my shift in mood. “It’s just to point out that we have it good here. And that his name carries far in most tournaments. You’ll do great this weekend.”

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