Page 85 of The Pact

“Nothing, she’s running errands. She’ll be back in a bit. Everything is fine. I was on my best behavior. Ask her yourself.” I yank out of his grip and take the steps two at a time until I’m in my room, shutting out the world.

Unlocking my phone, I sync to my speakers and hit play. Putting the volume to max, I plop down on my bed and let my mind wander to Thea.

I’ve been fighting against her for a month, figuring she would’ve given up by now. Despite my moodiness, coldness, and distance, Thea didn’t back down—she rose to the challenge. She stayed. All the while, giving me space and repeatedly telling me I didn’t have to pursue her if I wasn’t interested.

She’s giving me a choice. That’s more than I can say about anyone else in my life.

For the first time, I don’t keep the thoughts of what a life with Thea would look like at bay. I’ve been fighting hard against it, but I give in.

I imagine Thea smiling at me in the morning when we first wake up. She smiled at me once, during game night, then I ruined the moment. I shake away the negativity.

Her blue eyes light up as I pull her close to me in bed. Thea’s feisty. She pushes her palm into my shoulder until I’m laying flat on my back. Then she pounces.

She straddles me and pins me down playfully. I laugh, knowing I could easily overpower her, yet I give her a few seconds to feel like she might win. Leaning down, she kisses me and I reach up to deepen it. But she pulls away.

Her lips trail over my chin and down my neck until she’s licking over the pulse in my throat. I groan, knowing what she’s going to do. Thea’s teeth clamp down on that tender spot.

My arms fly up and I grab her around the waist, flipping her onto her back so that I’m on top of her now. I nudge her thighs apart and press myself into her.

I snap out of the fantasy, not wanting to take it any further, although it’s too late. My cock is hard and throbbing with need. Rolling out of bed, I head to my bathroom to wash away the day and rub one out.

First, my meds. I meant to take them earlier, but got in my head about hiking with Thea. Popping the lid, I dump the last pill into my hand. That’s not right. I turn the bottle and look at the refill date—I should still have five days worth left.

Shit. Did I get mixed up and double dose myself? I’ve done it before—never this often. Although, I usually don’t have a beautiful woman creating this much chaos in my head. Now, I have to explain to Damian why I need more and see if he has any connections to get some. I can’t risk going without them.

29

THEA

I told Wesley I had to run errands. It’s true, but I also need time away from all of them. He didn’t argue with me. I’m sure he was eager to get inside and away from me. He probably wants to get all of this over with as soon as he can.

If tonight is going to be my last with these guys, I’m determined to make it a good one.

I sit in my truck in the store parking lot for at least thirty minutes. The tears won’t stop. Every time I think I’ve run dry, more come. I need to get this out before I get back to the house. I certainly don’t want Wesley feeling bad and changing his mind.

Checking my reflection in the visor mirror, I rub my red and puffy eyes, hoping that will make them look normal again. It doesn’t. Although, I can’t sit here for another hour waiting for that to happen.

I head into the store, keeping my head down so I can avoid eye contact with everyone.

Steaks, baked potatoes, corn on the cob, and a gluten-free chocolate pie from the frozen section—the last supper. I also grab a couple of bottles of wine, one for me while I cook and one to share with the guys.

Thankfully, I encounter no one aside from the cashier, who doesn’t pay any attention to my appearance.

The drive back to the house is mostly me focusing on breathing and pushing dreadful thoughts out of my head. God, Cassie was right. This is going to be brutal. How did I get attached so quickly? Why didn’t I take things slower? All the regrets pummel me as I park my truck and grab the bags.

Sutton and Cole’s cars aren’t in the driveway. They won’t be home for another hour, I’m guessing. So I just need to avoid Damian and Wesley. I convince myself that it’ll be easy. They’re both probably locked in their rooms.

I quietly sneak into the kitchen, closing the front door, careful not to make too much noise. Setting the pie on the counter to thaw, I find a large platter, some seasoning, foil, a wine glass, and butter, then head outside to cook.

The grill isn’t too hard to figure out. As it heats, I season the steak and wrap the potatoes and corn in foil. I pour myself a generous glass of wine and stare out over the pool, voiding my mind of any thoughts. That doesn’t work for long.

The wine must wear down my resolve because soon I’m thinking about what motel will be best for me to stay at. I think about where I’ll get my morning coffee from now that the bakery is off limits. It’s the superficial things that invade my mind first, although it’s a gateway to the heavier thoughts.

I’ll miss hearing Sutton read to me. How will I get over Cole’s way of knowing just how to hold and touch me? Who will protect me like Damian does? Wesley even found a way into my heart. No longer hearing him call me blue eyes strikes me unexpectedly. And the fucking tears start again.

This is so pathetic. My dumb emotions are getting me in over my head once again and this time, it’ll be worse. I can’t move again. I can’t abandon Cassie or our business. Telling myself I’ll just have to face it, I’ll have to hear the gossip, and I’m sure I’ll see the guys every so often. Finally, I’ll have to live with the possibility that I’m going to miss what I have with them so much that no other man will come close to measuring up to the four of them.

For a moment, I take solace in knowing that at least I didn’t fuck any of them, but God, somehow, that makes me feel worse—like I’m missing out on something. I’m bracing myself on the edge of the outdoor kitchen counter when I hear Damian’s voice—my body goes rigid.

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