Page 46 of The Pact

He didn’t want Damian to be the one to bring up this revelation is what he means.

Frustration boils over. “How and when were you planning on telling me? Because we’ve been seeing each other for weeks. God, I’m so fucking stupid.” I point to the box with the satchel sitting on the coffee table. “Was that a gift to ease me into this?” I stand and start pacing, half talking to myself. “I thought you were perfect, too perfect, and I was right. Why don’t I ever listen to myself? How do I go from an abusive ex to polygamy?” I meet Cole’s dejected gaze. “I thought we were heading towards exclusivity, not you passing me around to all your buddies. Fuck m—”

“Abusive?” Damian interjects. I roll my eyes. That’s not something I can get into right now. I didn’t mean for it to slip out. He looks at Cole when I don’t answer. I don’t miss the slip of his gaze to my wrist. Yeah, they might think they share everything. Clearly that’s not the case.

Damian comes to me, grabs my hand, and pulls up my sleeve. He glares at Cole as I pull my arm away. “You didn’t tell me about this,” he growls at his brother, then looks at me. “You said Gavin wouldn’t be a problem, that he was leaving.”

“I—”

“Wait, you knew Gavin was in town?” Cole questions Damian. This is going downhill fast.

Tugging my sleeve back down, I interrupt their spat. “Gavin doesn’t matter. Neither of you need to worry about him. He’s my problem, not yours. And there’s still the matter of…” I wave my hand between them wildly. “This. Whatever this is.”

Cole joins me, placing his hands on my shoulders. “I know this is a lot. There’s nothing more that I want than exclusivity with you. There is no one else for me. But that means I have to bring you into the fold because being exclusive with me is being exclusive with all of us. You wouldn’t see anyone besides the four of us. And we would all commit to just you.”

I let out a rough laugh. “Well, that rules me out. Wesley wants nothing to do with me, so I doubt he’d even agree. And that one over there,” I accuse, pointing to Damian, who’s smirking, “isn’t much better. Why would I want to be in a hate relationship with half of this… this…” I’m finding it hard to come up with a word for whatever this shit show is, “Dynamic?” It’s the kindest way I can put it.

I regret the words as soon as they come out. It sounds like I’m considering this—I’m not.

Damian exchanges a look with Cole before assuring. “Don’t worry about Wesley. He’s more bark than bite. Him agreeing won’t be an issue. I won’t be an issue either.” His face softens a bit.

Shaking my head, I try fighting against what they’re telling me. “I don’t understand why. Why is sharing necessary for all of you? Why can’t you have something for yourself?” I reach out to touch Cole out of habit, instead I pull my hand back.

I can tell my words hit a sore spot. Maybe he feels the same way. Perhaps he wants something just for himself. And then it clicks. When Sutton told me how the women they’d bring around would try to wedge themselves in between the guys, this is what he was referring to.

Cole looks at Damian, then back at me. “We made a pact a long time ago. This is part of the terms of that agreement.”

I level a gaze at Damian. “What if Cole doesn’t want to share me?” Tension fills the room as if I’ve asked a forbidden question.

“Cole is free to leave the pact anytime he wants.” A wave of hope eases the pain in my chest. “If he does, he won’t benefit from the other aspects of the agreement. Shared finances, assets, support, and other things that make life easier. But he’s free to go.”

Something about those words seems detrimental, like Cole leaving might shatter the life they’ve worked so long to create together.

“So you’d punish him for wanting one thing for himself?” My tone is accusatory. I need to blame someone other than the man that stands in front of me. “You’d never talk to him again?”

Damian’s face hardens. “We could still be friends, however, things would be… different.” I don’t miss that he says friends instead of brothers.

This is so fucked up.

The front door opens and closes.

“Cole?” Sutton calls out. “Is Thea here? I saw her truck out front.” He comes around the fireplace to see us all standing in the living room. “Woah. What’s going on?”

Anger flares, not because of Damian this time. I stomp over to him. “You knew!” I push my finger into his chest. This might hurt more than anything else.

“Oh shit.” Sutton’s amber eyes look beyond me towards his brothers, the realization hitting him. “Thea…”

Tilting my head, I stare up at him and give him a wry smile. “You know, I guess I could have expected lies from them. They don’t owe me anything. But you…” My eyes water as my voice cracks. “I expected honesty from you. Knowing my history, you could have protected me. And you chose not to.” My gaze slips from his as a tear rolls down my cheek. “That hurts the most.” I pat the wetness on my cheek with my sleeve. “I need to go.”

“Thea,” Sutton pleads. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” His hands cup my face and as much as I want to tear myself away angrily, I can’t. I know he’s genuinely regretful. It’s clear in his voice. He takes advantage of my weakness and pulls me into his chest. “I should have told you. You don’t deserve this,” he murmurs with his face pressed to my hair. “I didn’t want to let you go again. This was going to be our second chance.”

I’m so fucking weak. Even in the face of the deception, I let myself fall into the arms of the man who hurt me. Because, damn it, a second chance with Sutton momentarily seems worth their lies.

Cole comes up behind me, putting his hand on my back. “Thea, I’m sorry. I wish it hadn’t happened like this. I want you to know, if you decide you can’t do this, that’s okay. But I can’t leave my brothers. Walking away from them isn’t an option. It’s all of us or nothing, and I don’t mean that as an ultimatum.”

There it is. A relationship with just Cole isn’t even on the table. This feels an awful lot like an ultimatum to me. It shouldn’t even matter. It shouldn’t hurt this much. Cole lied to me, or lied by omission at the very least. The perfect man I thought I’d found is gone. I shouldn’t care that this is over. So why do I? Why do I still want him? Why do I also want Sutton, now that he’s an option?

I pull free of Sutton’s embrace. I need air.

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