Page 41 of The Pact

My phone buzzes and I see a message from Cole.

Cole: I haven’t seen a phone. Asked my brothers…they haven’t either. I’ll keep an eye out. Hope you had a wonderful day, love.

I relay the message to Cass. She sighs and resigns to get a replacement. While her annoyance is clear, I think that the decision on the property helps to ease some of it. There will be bumps on the road to success. My bump is Gavin and hers is getting a new phone. Minor things in the grand scheme of it all.

15

COLE

I flip through the stack of papers again. I’ve reread them every day this week, practically memorizing each page. The words have made me laugh, smile, cry, and seethe—they speak to me deeply as if I wrote them myself.

Pulling open my desk drawer, I slide the papers into a folder labeled Poems. I lock it. It’s where I keep my most personal things—my birth certificate, some pictures of my childhood, awards, sentimental stuff I don’t want anyone to see.

I glance at the large black box on my desk, my fingers trace over the silver letters. I hope she likes it. The gift is partially to make the news I have to tell Thea today a little easier. I’ve been putting it off and Damian’s been pressuring me.

It’s inevitable. I’ve always known that. We established the rules long ago, even if I don’t agree with them right now. They’re there for a reason—to keep the peace, so there’s little competition between the four of us.

Damian manages this well, keeping us all happy.

But there is some inequality because we all know Damian is in charge. I guess someone has to be. He manages our finances and assets, mostly. Conflicts as well, between us or outsiders.

Damian’s always been skilled at that—managing our emotions. It helps him feel like he’s in control. He didn’t have that growing up, so it’s become a necessity for him as an adult.

Neither of us had a good home life, however Damian admittedly had it worse than me. I may have been overlooked by my family most days, but at least they didn’t beat me black and blue. I shudder at the vivid image of Damian walking into school wearing long sleeve shirts to cover the marks from his stepdad.

Eventually, clothing wasn’t enough to hide the brutality. The bruises on his face should have made someone step in. No one did. So, he had to endure it until he could fight back, although it was years before that happened.

I pull myself from those memories.

Checking my watch, I see it’s almost time for me to bring Thea lunch. She hasn’t been to the house all week, busy with work. I’ve made it a point to take her food every afternoon while she comes to the bakery in the evenings. I’m not sure if the distance makes what I have to do easier or harder.

Damian’s head peeks into my room just as I’m about to head upstairs.

“Hey.” He’s been lying low for the last couple of days. He might have his own shit going on or he could be giving me space to figure out the Thea situation. We’ve all been stressed about it. Even the mention of her in daily conversation seems to make us tense.

She’s a constant reminder that I have something they don’t.

“Hey,” I mutter. I’m not sure there’s much to talk about. We both know he’s doing what he needs to for our family. “I’m heading to the studio. I’m going to ask her to come over after work.”

Damian nods. The question he wants to ask is written all over his face.

“I’m going to tell her, like I said I would.” It comes out sharp. Any other time I might apologize, however, he isn’t getting one from me today.

His eyes meet mine. “I know. Do you need anything?”

More time. That’s what I want to say, although I know it’s not possible. Waiting too long could make the betrayal worse for her. Thea’s invested enough that she might consider the proposition, yet not too invested that this would devastate her.

“Just be your usual self, Damian,” I sigh, running my hand over the scruff along my jaw.

I can tell that he isn’t sure how to take that. The last thing I want is for him to turn into some kind of knight in shining armor once I tell Thea. I don’t know why that’s a fear of mine. He’s never been one to put on a facade. But there’s something about her that makes everything feel different this time.

It’s probably my own insecurities making me feel this way. All I’ve wanted my entire life is someone who chooses me, accepts me, and loves me. I can have that with Thea. She said it herself. She sees me. She may not feel the same once I pop the perfect bubble we’ve been in these last few weeks.

Her rejection is what scares me the most.

“Okay. I can do that.” I think I see defeat in his eyes, although it’s quickly replaced with his usual iciness. “This is how it has to be. The other option…well you know.”

I do know. The alternative isn’t an option. We have too much tied up together and I love my brothers.

---