Page 96 of Finding Molly Parsons

“Before the night of the party?”

“No, same night. Well, Carmen was more than receptive and we… you know.”

“Right, so it was all passion and heat?”

“Exactly. Bessie, it was the best sex of my life. I can’t imagine what a full night with her would have felt like. She might have killed me.”

Bessie let out a low chuckle. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.”

“Yeah, I did, we did. But then, as soon as we finished, it fell apart.”

“Did Carmen say something?”

“No, worse. She clammed up, and we never spoke of it. Actually, apart from saying goodbye the next day, we didn’t speak again.”

“And how did that make you feel?”

“Like fucking garbage, if I’m being honest.”

“Elaborate.”

“The sex was amazing, but it wasn’t just the physical act, you know. I felt safe with her, even if it was hella hot. I never felt out of control. I thought…”

“You thought?” Bessie gently urged.

“I thought that maybe we could have explored something more. But that wasn’t what Carmen wanted, obviously. She couldn’t get out of here fast enough.”

“Or she was just as shaken up as you, and didn’t know how to deal with it?”

“Maybe.”

“So that’s why you’re all bent out of shape? You thought you guys could be more, but Carmen doesn’t seem to be on the same page?”

“Carmen said she didn’t do relationships. And yet, Faith called and told me she’s going out on a date. I’ve been texting with Carmen for weeks and she hasn’t said anything.”

“Ah, so you’re jealous, I see.”

“No,” Molly protested.

“Yes! Hearing that Carmen, the woman who broke your vagina—”

“She did not break my vagina,” Molly barked.

“Okay, the woman who rocked your world and then left you high but not quite dry, who told you she wasn’t into dating, suddenly starts dating. Molly, you’re jealous, which is stupid.”

“Thanks, Bess, you’re really helping so far.”

“It’s stupid because no matter who Carmen dates, if it’s not you, it won’t work!”

“What are you talking about?”

“Look, Enid and I might have teased you both about being a good fit, but we weren’t lying. We saw how you interacted and got close. That’s why you pair sleeping together came as no surprise at all. I spoke to Enid the other day, and do you know what she told me?”

“What?” Molly asked cautiously.

“That Carmen, has been as much of a hot mess as you have.”

“Probably because she regrets being with me.”

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