Page 68 of Finding Molly Parsons

“You okay?” Mateo asked quietly, his hand taking Carmen’s. All she could do was nod. No, she wasn’t okay, not in the least, but it wasn’t about her. Looking to the side, she caught Molly’s eye. Something passed between them, a new bond that needed to be explored, but not tonight.

Chapter 17

Molly

Molly’s head leaned lazily against the chair in the corner of what was now Darren’s room. Sleep would not come for her this evening. The only thing that helped was knowing Carmen was only a few feet away.

After a subdued conversation with Bessie, Molly excused herself from the kitchen to take a shower, her plan to spend the night monitoring Darren. She hadn’t expected to find Carmen already in Darren’s room, reading when she entered. They sat silently, watching the young man sleep. This wasn’t the first time Molly had dealt with this type of situation. Sadly, she also knew it wouldn’t be the last. What made it different tonight though, was having Carmen with her.

Now and then, Carmen would rise from her seat to nudge Darren awake. They’d have a quick conversation before Carmen allowed him to go back to sleep. “I don’t think he has a concussion,” she whispered.

“At least that’s something,” Molly replied. Falling silent again, Molly let her eyes fall shut. As much as she loved what she did and couldn’t even contemplate doing anything else, sometimes the emotional toll was overwhelming.

For the most part, Molly was excellent at compartmentalizing her personal feelings with her professional ones. Yes, she had no problem sharing some of her past with the kids she helped, but no one knew the complete picture. That was reserved for Molly alone. It was natural though, to feel old wounds reopen when faced with situations like Darren’s. It was human. Unfortunately, adding tonight’s drama to Faith turning up, Molly was finding it near impossible to shut off her personal thoughts and feelings.

Looking over at Carmen, Molly wondered if she was finding it just as difficult. Carmen and Mateo had gone through the system, and from what little Molly knew about their past, she would bet they’d gone through their fair share of trauma. Was Carmen reliving it?

Molly was. Her mind catapulted back twenty years to the day Alan had thrown her out, with nothing but a few clothes in a bag. Unlike Darren, Molly had escaped physically unharmed, but not emotionally. Her brother had eviscerated her. Had he done that to Faith, too?

A wave of nausea rolled over every inch of Molly’s body. Why had she deluded herself that she could get Alan to see sense one day? All those years of writing letters hoping for some sort of reconciliation. Why had she done that? Because Molly longed for the family she had before her parents were killed, but that wasn’t possible. Alan wasn’t the brother she’d known. He was a stranger.

There would be no more letters, no more hoping. Molly couldn’t bear the thought of having Faith anywhere near that sort of toxicity. Molly couldn’t bear the thought of anyone having to live in such a hostile environment. The hardest part was going to be letting her past go. Knowing she wouldn’t get the closure she needed or deserved.

“You look like you are trying to solve world hunger over there.” Carmen’s soft voice was soothing to Molly’s frayed mind.

“No, nothing so grand,” Molly replied with a half-smile.

“Want to talk about it?”

“I was just making some decisions.”

“About your brother?”

Molly wasn’t surprised Carmen knew where her head had gone. She was a perceptive woman. “Yeah,” she sighed.

“I can’t say I understand what you’re going through, Mol.” Molly’s heart gave an extra hard thump at Carmen’s use of the nickname. “Mateo is my family, and no matter what we went through, we did it together. You, for a long time, were alone. It’s completely understandable that you wanted or still want your family to support you.”

“But at what cost?” Molly answered. The cost of her dignity and self-worth. Begging a man that had cast her out at seventeen, not caring whether she wound up on the streets or worse.

“Don’t do that. Don’t question yourself. It’s okay to reconsider or rethink priorities. At one point, Molly, you needed to hold on to the idea that your brother would come around and embrace you. Now, things have changed, you have changed.”

“I hate the feeling of giving up on him, but equally, I hate the person he’s become. I’m sure there is more to the story than Faith has told me. Seeing Darren, and the fear in his eyes, I couldn’t help but think of Faith in that position. Did she cower before him? Did he beat her and make her feel worthless? My stomach is sick at the thought. I should have been there for her, I—”

“You didn’t know, Mol. And even if you knew about Faith, that doesn’t mean you would have been able to do anything. Trust me, I wish I’d known about her. I would have marched into the Parsons household, decked Alan and walked out with Faith,” Carmen laughed. “She didn’t deserve to be treated that way. Hell, no one deserves that. At least you spent your time trying to help. Look at Darren. You didn’t even hesitate in bringing him here. And I’ll bet a million bucks you’ll ensure he is well taken care of, even after he has recovered.”

“How do you do that?” Molly asked, her head feeling a little light.

“Do what?”

“Make me feel better with just a few words. Make me feel…” Molly trailed off, unable to complete the sentence. Make me feel safe and at home.

Dipping her head in embarrassment, Molly hoped Carmen wouldn’t read into her rambling.

“I hope I can make you feel better,” Carmen said quietly. Raising her eyes from the ground, Molly looked directly at Carmen. A shy smile gracing her beautiful face.

“Thank you.”

“Anytime. Maybe we should try to get some sleep. It’s been a long day.”

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