Page 17 of Finding Molly Parsons

“My clothes. This,” Faith pointed to her dress, “is not my style. I know that much. I hate it.”

“Again, easy to fix. Mateo is itching to make you over,” Carmen laughed. “Letting him give you a facial and pedicure was just the tip of the iceberg.”

“I really enjoyed it. I think it’s the first time… well, in forever, that I feel like me. Just a girl enjoying life.”

“As it should be, Faith. You’re still young, and there is plenty of time for you to figure everything out. I’m here for you, in whatever capacity you need, okay?”

“I have so much to learn.”

“Yeah, but how exciting is that?” Carmen’s enthusiasm stunned Faith for a second. She was so used to being cautious and looking at her upbringing as a negative, Faith forgot she was on a journey. “We all learn and grow. Most of us don’t even recognize when that happens. But, for you Faith, you are coming into your new world with your eyes wide open. You are old enough to understand the significance of your new life, but young enough to learn freely and without the cynicism we often gain in adulthood. Your life sucked before, I get that. Hell, I lived that, but now? Wow, Faith, now you get to explore and learn about love and everything that makes time on this rock worth living.”

“You should be a motivational speaker or something,” Faith gasped. Carmen was so enthusiastic and upbeat, Faith found herself nodding along as Carmen’s words poured out and engulfed her.

“Ha, I don’t know about that. I do know a little about re-inventing yourself and learning who you are.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“I’m an open book, Faith.”

“When did you… you know, know?”

“That I liked girls?”

“Yeah.”

“When I was around fourteen, I think. It was the year before me and Mateo hightailed it out of the system. Mateo had just got back to the group home after his most recent foster dad beat the crap out of him. Anyway, he arrived with another kid, a girl called Brogan. Well, after I made sure Mateo was okay, I sort of fixated on Brogan. At first, I thought it was because she was a little shy. You know, like I just wanted to help her out. But then, after I had a dream about her, one where she kissed me, I knew my feelings were something more.”

“Did you ever tell her?”

“Hell no,” Carmen laughed. “The one thing I learned in the system was to keep your shit to yourself. I didn’t trust anyone but Mateo. It was funny really because we didn’t even come out to each other.”

“What do you mean?” Coming out had been Faith’s worst nightmare for a long time.

“Well, there was no deep discussion. We just sort of knew already. Mateo had boyfriends, and I had… friends that were girls.”

Faith laughed at Carmen’s unique description of her relationship with women. “Have you had a serious girlfriend before?”

“Nope. I know why. I’m not ignorant of the fact my childhood has shaped how I interact with people. It’s just something I struggle with. It drives Mateo nuts.”

“I hope I have a girlfriend one day.” Faith longed to have someone to love her completely, without conditions and expectations.

“I have no doubt you’ll get what you want, Faith. But…”

“But?”

“But don’t be in a rush, okay? Take your time exploring this side of yourself. Learn to love yourself entirely, including the parts of yourself that connect you to your parents. Once you do that… well, I think you will make some girl really fucking happy.”

Tears sprung from Faith’s eyes. No one had ever spoken to her the way Carmen just had.

“Why is Faith crying, Carmen?” Mateo barked, causing both Faith and Carmen to jump.

“Jesus, Hermano, give us a little warning next time. I almost peed my boxers.”

“Why is she crying?”

“I’m crying because I can’t believe how lucky I got when I turned up here yesterday. I already feel seen and heard. More than any time in my life. I hardly know you, but I feel like I do know you.”

Mateo wrapped his arms around Faith. “What the hell did you say to her?” Mateo chuckled as Faith sobbed. Those sobs turned into mirth when Faith saw the deer in headlights expression on Carmen’s face. Pulling back from Mateo, Faith reached for Carmen. Together, the trio hugged each other. Forget love at first sight. For Faith, this was family at first sight.

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