Page 62 of Finding Molly Parsons

Molly, right, of course. That’s why Carmen would think Faith was as happy as a kid in a candy store. “Yeah, Molly seems great,” she spluttered, feeling guilty. Carmen, Mateo, and Enid had all given up their time to help Faith find and connect with her aunt, and here she was thinking of her girlfriend and all the things she wanted to try with Nathalie. Selfish, you’re selfish, Faith!

“Hey, what’s that look about?” Carmen’s eyes crinkled with concern.

“Nothing, I’m fine.”

“Faith?”

“I was feeling guilty because as much as my happiness today is over finding Molly, it isn’t completely about that.”

“Okay, why would that make you feel guilty?”

“Because you guys took time away from work to help get me here and I’m in my head thinking about…”

“Ah, thinking about a cute girl, right?” Carmen laughed.

“Yeah,” Faith chuckled.

“Sweetie, you don’t have to feel guilty for being happy. No matter what the cause of that happiness is. I think you know as well as I do that in this life you gotta take what you can get where happiness is concerned.” Faith mulled over Carmen’s words, wanting to question her friend’s ability to take her own advice, but she didn’t.

“Things with Nat… um… progressed.” Surely average teenagers wouldn’t be caught dead trying to have this conversation with an adult, but Faith needed it. There had never been someone she could open up to and ask the awkward questions.

Carmen felt steady. A person Faith knew she could talk to about anything. Molly was the same, although their relationship still needed a little more time to develop before she felt able to go there with her aunt. Thank God Faith and Carmen were following behind Molly in a separate car.

“Progressed as in…”

“Um, well… we did some stuff over the phone.”

“Stuff? Are you saying you had phone sex?” Carmen’s voice squeaked a little, but Faith could see the woman was trying her hardest to remain cool and collected.

“I suppose so, yeah.”

“And… um… how do you feel about it? You weren’t pressured, were you?”

“God no, I started it.”

Carmen laughed. “Well, alright then.”

“We’ve been getting closer recently. Um, our chats have become more intimate, and I started having dreams.”

“It might have been back in the Stone Age, but I remember those times,” Carmen winked.

“Did you find it embarrassing?”

“Well, I was living with Mateo. What do you think?” she laughed. “I think we all feel that level of embarrassment when we begin to feel sexual. It’s a weird transition.”

“Before I did that with Nathalie, I hadn’t even… um, masturbated before.”

“Not everyone feels comfortable doing that, Faith. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“That’s not what was making me feel ashamed.” Faith’s teeth worried her bottom lip. “I was told it was a sin to do that.”

“Ah,” Carmen sighed. “So, how is it sitting with you after that fact?”

“Better than I thought. Before Nathalie called me, I was thinking about it and I had this voice in my head telling me I was wrong to have those urges. But… then I talked to her, and we did it together. Nothing felt wrong to me.”

“That’s because it wasn’t, Faith. I know how experiences in your past can leave scars. It still takes me a little time to move past certain things. Maybe I will never fully leave it all behind, but I will keep trying. That’s all you can do. Your parents did a number on you. There’s no denying it, but you aren’t them. You’re not their beliefs. I’m proud of you, I think I’m gonna be saying that a lot in the future. You’re a kind and loving young woman. Keep moving forward and keep talking. Whether that’s to me, Mateo or Molly. You have people now, and we’ll do our best to guide you.”

“Does it make you uncomfortable talking about… sex stuff with me?”

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