Page 41 of Protector

“Puck,” I whisper, just before he goes to move his hips forwards. “I’m scared.”

“Me too,” he confesses, and a tear falls down my cheeks, into the soft pillows and my hair. Puck leans down, kissing me tenderly. “But I will never hurt you. If you tell me to stop, I will, okay?”

“Okay.”

His hand reaches up to wipe away a couple of stray tears, and I smile up at him shyly.

“Do you want me to stop, Bon? We have all the time in the world, remember.”

I think about it for a second, his firm body above mine, with him resting at my entrance. Even though I’m scared, even though I’m nervous, I’ve never been more sure about something in my life.

“I don’t want you to stop.”

Puck smiles, leaning down to softly kiss me, and ever so slowly, he pushes forwards. I scrunch my eyes together, more tears falling at the burn between my legs.

I knew it was going to hurt, but this is worse than I thought.

It feels like it lasts hours until Puck has pushed all the way through my barriers and stops moving, his hand cupping my cheek.

“Are you okay?” he whispers, stammering a little, his breaths deep.

“It burns a little,” I say truthfully. Although right now, it burns a lot. I shimmy underneath him, letting my body become used to the newer intrusion. He’s a lot thicker than his fingers.

But Puck, being the patient, most amazing man he is, stays still for a while longer, letting me get used to the unfamiliar feeling until, eventually, I give him the go ahead to move.

For a few agonising strokes, the burn is intense, but after a while, it subsides and becomes more of an ache.

I can tell Puck is struggling to compose his breathing, and after a couple more strokes, he puffs out a quiet, “God.”

Even though it hurts and is a little uncomfortable, I’ve never been happier to be in this moment with Puck, to be this close with him and become one like this.

I love this boy.

The moment was fleeting. It didn’t last for more than a few minutes, and I gained nothing from the experience aside from finally crossing that line with Puck and deepening my love and connection with him.

But I wouldn’t have changed it for the world.

I feel safe, I feel loved, I feel valued and wanted.

I couldn’t have imagined a better person to share my first time with. And I know that there will be many more, and even though this wasn’t the type of sex that is described in my romance novels, I know that every single one of my feelings for Puck is valid and real and that he reciprocates them equally.

After all, how many people can say they lost their virginity to the love of their life?

I love Puck, and we can only go up from here.

Bon,

Tonight was the greatest night of my life.

You’re the air that I breathe, the light in my dark, and the song that feeds my soul.

You’re my everything.

I love you.

Second star on the right…

Till Neverland,

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