Page 98 of Lie For Me

‘No, that’s not what I mean.’ He felt tortured. ‘It wasn’t a mistake, Luce. I meant it when I said it was an amazing night.’ He stretched across the table, but Lucy kept her hands in her lap. ‘I just don’t…we’d only be putting off the inevitable, wouldn’t we? If we tried? I’m not good at this, and I can’t lose you as a friend.’ Something inside him wondered if that hadn’t already happened. ‘Lucy, I can’t explain how I feel about…’

‘Sure. I understand,’ she said quietly.

Lucy started to spread marmalade on another slice of toast, then lay the knife down and just looked at it.

Valerie and James bustled up.

‘Hello, Darling.’ Valerie frowned as she kissed Lucy on the cheek. ‘Lucy, are you feeling all right? You look quite peaky. Oh dear,’ she peered at Lucy, ‘you didn’t overindulge, did you? Poor Mark’s in a bad way out there.’ She beamed at Jack. ‘Good morning Jack, how are you?’

‘I’m fine, thank you,’ he said politely.

‘Are you sure you’re okay, darling?’ Valerie persisted to Lucy. ‘You don’t look quite right. Perhaps it’s this T-shirt—red’s never been your colour.’

‘Thank you, Mum,’ Lucy sighed. ‘I’m fine. We’re fine.’

‘All right, darling,’ Valerie said, happy to take Lucy’s word for it. ‘Are you two staying for lunch?’

‘Um…’ They hadn’t talked about it, about what time they’d leave.

He looked at Lucy. Her face was shuttered, her eyes blank and cool.

Jack cleared his throat. ‘I think we’ll, well, I’ll,’ Jack said, ‘have to leave shortly.’

‘Ah yes,’ James said. ‘D-day tomorrow, isn’t it?’

Lucy stared at her father in confusion, and Jack wished the ground would swallow him up. He felt his face going red.

‘Decision day, isn’t it?’ James said brightly. ‘To go or not to go, that is the question.’

‘Oh yes,’ Valerie chimed in. ‘James told me. That’s exciting news Jack, you must be so pleased. It’s exciting, isn’t it, Lucy?’ Valerie prompted.

Lucy looked shell-shocked. She looked from Jack to her father and back again, her eyes glazed and unfocused.

‘Yes,’ she said, at last, her voice flat. ‘Very exciting.’

‘Darling,’ Valerie said with a laugh. ‘You could be a little more pleased for Jack. This is an exciting time for him.’ She shook her head at her daughter. ‘See you at lunch, Lucy.’

Jack’s face flamed as her parents wandered off.

‘Lucy, I didn’t—’

She was pushing her chair back.

Jack was on his feet.

‘Your dad and I were just chatting this morning. I told him about the sale. I know he sold his business years ago. I just wanted his advice.’

Lucy stumbled as she stood and grabbed the back of the chair. Jack jumped up and reached for her, but she held up a hand.

‘Please stop,’ she said.

‘And he must have told your mum.’

‘You know how I feel around my family, Jack?’ Lucy said, spinning unsteadily back to face him. ‘Like I’m on the outside looking in. I don’t really understand them, and they don’t get me.’

Her voice shook, and tears welled up in her eyes. Jack felt emptied out inside.

‘And now you share your most important life decisions with,’ she waved her arms, ‘my parents. And I have to sit there and act as if I know all about it. When truthfully, I feel more on the outside than ever.’

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