Page 29 of Never Finished

Caroline stuck out her bottom lip in a pout. “Of course,” she said before taking a sip of her orange juice.

I huffed out a laugh. “I call bullshit. What’s really bugging you?”

She chewed on her lip for a moment before relenting and said, “Okay fine, so I may not feel neglected… that’s not really my style and I am more than capable of entertaining myself buuuut,” she said drawing out the word, “I am a little hurt you’re not sharing with your best friend. I’ll have you know some of us are still in the midst of a sexual Sahara and it’s a little selfish of you to be bogarting all of your juicy details.”

I rolled my eyes at her, laughing. “What, you want me to draw you a picture?” I asked teasing.

Her eyes widened, “Only if you’ve invented some new position… then absolutely, yes,” she laughed. “But c’mon, this is the guy you have been pining over for a decade—the one who got away. Now you’ve finally gotten to realize some of those fantasies, and that’s no small thing. I mean, unless it is a small thing and if so, then that’s a bummer… or maybe that doesn’t bother you, I don’t know. Talk to meeee,” she whined.

I burst out laughing. “Okay, okay. Without getting into too many details, I can tell you it’s been… amazing. I mean, I know that sounds corny, but everything I imagined pales compared to what the last couple of days have been like.”

Caroline let out a small squeal of excitement, thumping her hand on the table. “Ooh, I’m so excited for you. God, how awful would it have been to long for and wonder about someone for that long and he turns out to be a dud in the sack?” she asked, shuddering in mock horror.

I shook my head. “You know it’s not just about the sex. That connection is still there. I don’t have to be anyone other than myself with him. I hate to say it but as much as I am enjoying myself, I’m a little scared. Oh hell, who am I kidding? I’m a lot scared,” I admitted.

Caroline nodded. “Afraid Daddy Moneybags will step in again?”

I nodded miserably.

Caroline sighed. “Look, I get how unpleasant he could make things for you, but what your father was threatening before isn’t really a threat anymore, so what’s stopping you other than the fear of family strife?”

“Strangely enough, it’s still my mom. I know he can’t take her away from me anymore, but he’s been threatening to make changes to the company that would steer us away from her vision, not to mention the impact it would have on the employees that have become family to me. The only reason he’s kept a lot of the more tenured employees is because I keep reminding him how important loyalty was to Mom. But he keeps complaining that they’re expensive to keep around. And now this new merger…” I trailed off, knowing I was probably sharing way more details than the company would like, but this was Caroline. If there was anyone I could trust to be discrete, it was Caroline and Abby.

“You still suspicious?” she pushed.

I nodded. “I’m still in talks with the son of Get Outdoors’ CEO and he keeps dropping hints that insinuate he’s hoping for an additional “merger” if you know what I mean.”

Caroline made a face. “Unfortunately, I know exactly what you mean. Have you told your father this guy is being a sleaze? I mean, your father is a lot of things, but I have a hard time believing he would be okay with that kind of behavior.”

I sighed. “That’s why I’m confused. I update my father every day on our progress, and I’ve mentioned more than once that this guy has other ideas that are less than professional and he just tells me to keep an open mind, reminding me what a good family this guy comes from.”

Caroline made another disgusted face. “Gross… and disappointing, my opinion of Daddy Moneybags is plummeting even further,” she said before downing the last of her orange juice. “This conversation calls for something stronger. Excuse me, sir!” she called before ordering two mimosas.

I wouldn’t normally day drink on a weekday, especially since I was supposed to meet with Andrew later in the day, but after the last couple of days I figured my status quo lifestyle could benefit from a shakeup.

The server came back with our drinks and Caroline savored a sip before she sucked in a deep breath and said, “Okay, now that I have some liquid courage in me, I’m just going to say it, Emma. I know how much this place means to you and I know how much it meant to Mama Carter, but when is enough, enough?”

“What do you mean?” I asked, a knot of dread forming in my chest.

Caroline eyed me warily. "You know exactly what I mean, Emma. Look, I know your father loves you in his own way, but he's been taking advantage of you for a really long time. Frankly, Abby and I were concerned that once your mom passed away, he would take even more advantage of you. I think it’s safe to say I don’t think very highly of a man who uses his wife, his daughter’s mother, against her to keep her in line. He’s up to something and I’m worried about where that leaves you. Not to mention, this Andrew guy sounds sketchy as hell. I know how much you love this company and how much it meant to your mom, but is it really worth it?"

I could feel myself blanch at the question.

"You can't seriously be suggesting I just walk away from the company my family worked so hard to build? That I have been a part of since I was a child?" Even though I knew Caroline's heart was in my corner, her words still hurt.

She sighed. "I know it sounds insane to walk away, and it is, I get it. But you have so much to offer and I don't think you’re appreciated. Look, if it's a hell no, then the three of us will put our heads together, and we’ll figure out a way to make this thing with your father work for you. But Emma, we want you to be happy, and you've been unhappy for a really long time… even before your mom died."

I didn't respond for a moment, letting her words sink in. My knee-jerk reaction was to be furious at her suggestion, but this was my best friend who has only ever had my best interest at heart. Then Caroline said the words that would make the splinter in my heart dig in even deeper. "She would want you to do whatever it takes to be happy."

I couldn't look at Caroline then, not because I was mad at her, but because she was speaking the truth.

My mom had been proud of what our family built, but she was even prouder to be my mom. I knew if I told her I wanted to join the circus and she believed it’s what would make happy, I would’ve had her full support.

What hurt more was that I often wondered what my mom would have thought of everything that’s happened since she died. I wondered if she was still proud, if she’d approve of how I’ve chosen to live my life without her.

But what made it hurt even worse was the fact that I often wondered what my mom was thinking when she saw me from up there. I wondered if she was still proud and I had to face the fact that she probably wouldn't like how I was handling things.

Caroline broke into my spiraling thoughts. "Hey, before you get lost in thinking you’re somehow disappointing her, just stop. She adored you and there’s nothing you can do to change that fact. Abby and I were always envious of your relationship with your mom. We would have killed to have that kind of support from our parents growing up. And I bet she’d have some choice words for your father regarding this whole merger fiasco."

---