Page 43 of Newton

"You're safe here," he vows.

If only I could trust his words.

Chapter 21

Newton

I feel like a coward, leaving her alone in the bed before the sun even came up, but her fear of Nathan Adair had the power to bring up all sorts of shit from my childhood.

I know her struggle. I lived some of the same things. I know what it's like to regret being a coward, to watch someone get hurt and do nothing to stop it.

The coffee running down the back of my throat tastes like battery acid and the second it hits my stomach, it threatens to make a reappearance.

"You're looking like me right now," Hemlock growls when he walks into the dark kitchen.

I don't acknowledge the man. He isn't speaking to me because he wants to have a conversation, and I'm not foolish enough to think he's concerned about my mental health.

"Nothing to say?" he snaps as his ass hits the chair he always occupies in the morning.

"Do you really give a shit?" I snap back, my eyes trained in his direction.

He shakes his head as he lifts his cup to his mouth. I've sat here for ten minutes, waiting for my coffee to cool down enough to drink, and this psycho motherfucker just guzzles it like it’s cold water.

“No,” he spits, chuckling when I look away.

I know what the man is capable of, but I also know that he’s here for a reason. Still, it’s hard to trust Kincaid’s judgment when I’ve seen this man operate. He’s soulless, eyes empty and void of any feelings at all. It makes me second-guess his commitment to the entire reason why Cerberus exists.

We don’t speak to each other again, but before long, others come into the kitchen, and the mood begins to shift from dark and dreary to anticipatory.

We have a meeting scheduled this morning, and although it hasn't been confirmed, I think it may be a new mission we're scheduled to go out on.

A week ago, I would've probably lied about my wrist still hurting in order to stay back at the clubhouse. After Brielle's confessions and the memories they brought back to life, I don't know if I can stay here with her much longer.

I feel weak, like a child afraid of the dark, with just the thought of going back in there with her, but I also know so many parts of me want to be there to comfort her. I don't want anyone delving into my past, but I'm willing to step up and help with hers.

I pull in a ragged breath, knowing that I better not get into the habit of lying to myself because I bolted out of my bedroom the second I got the chance. And to think I thought I'd worked through all of this shit in therapy. I guess some people never heal.

"Meeting in ten," Shadow says from the kitchen door.

I feel like a complete asshole for not taking Brielle something to eat, but these meetings usually don't last very long. We go over the dossier for the case and then we're given assignments.

I have no idea what the woman would do if I'm sent off on this mission, and dread sinks inside of me as I walk toward the conference room. I can't make up my mind. I need some distance from her, but just thinking about not being here with her makes my head spin. The woman is really fucking me up but knowing it doesn't stop my eyes from darting down the hallway toward the room. It sure as hell doesn't stop the pull to her I feel in my chest.

I recognize Eddie "Ace" Yarrow when I spot him standing at the front of the room. The other guy standing beside him is another story.

He looks more like a criminal than anything else, so I know he has to be one of the covert operatives from ICE. We've had several meetings with Kincaid and the others about the possibility of a new chapter beginning closer to the East Coast in an effort to provide more domestic support for the fight against sex trafficking.

I take my normal seat at the conference table, putting me at the very back of the room. Although some don't like the unspoken hierarchy of the newer guys being further away from the front, I like my positioning in the room. I can see everyone. I can observe their bodies' reactions to the things they hear. I catch the looks some of them give others they're closest to.

Kincaid steps up in front of the two men just as Kid walks in and closes the conference room's double doors.

"As most of you know, this is Special Agent Eddie Yarrow with the office of Immigration and Customs Enforcement," Kincaid begins. "They're here to explain what they've been doing to bring down some of the sex trafficking rings throughout the US. Eddie," Kincaid says, offering the floor to the man.

"You all know who I am," he says. "It feels like a lifetime ago that I sat at this table. I also know that there have probably been a lot of whispers about where I went and why someone would be insane enough to leave Cerberus. The company does a lot of good, and I'm not here to argue that point, but years ago, I saw a need that wasn’t being met. I can admit that I had a life goal of making Cerberus’s missions obsolete. I just knew in my soul that if I fought hard enough to end domestic sex trafficking, there would be no need for guys like you to run all over South America and Mexico rescuing people."

My heart beats faster in my chest as he speaks. I know the man isn't a motivational speaker, but he sure knows how to command a fucking room.

"I'm here to tell you that after twenty years of fighting the good fight, my goals have never even come close to being met. With the advance of technology, and criminals always being one step ahead of the good guys, the human trafficking industry is a bustling business that shows no signs of slowing down."

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