Page 141 of Hot Streak

“We can . . .uh . . .explain it away,” Jackson said. “If you want to.”

Connor shot him a hard look. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“What? You looked worried.”

“I was worried because I didn’t think you wanted anyone to know. You were so worked up about potentially destroying my career.”

“I . . .” It was hard to deny it, because he had been. Worked up didn’t even do it justice; he’d been fucking terrified of being the reason Connor didn’t fulfill all his potential. Horrified at even the possibility that Connor could eventually turn on him and blame him. But the worst had always been when he’d imagined Connor as him, in ten years. Blaming himself, afraid and unable to accept this side of him because of what it had caused.

“Don’t even try to argue. I know how you feel about it,” Connor grumbled. “And I want you to know you’re wrong. Well, maybe not back then. But things have changed. They are changing. Did you know the team has a strength and conditioning coach who’s gay? His boyfriend goes to all the games. Nice guys.”

“No,” Jackson said. He didn’t know.

“Yeah, he’s not like out out because he doesn’t want the attention, but he’s out to the team. Doesn’t even care if they know.”

“Huh.”

“If I looked worried, it’s because I didn’t think you’d be very happy about that, back there,” Connor admitted.

“You thought I was going to be upset?” Jackson stopped at the bottom of the stairs that led up to his apartment. “Are you serious?”

“You hung back. You didn’t even want to hug me,” Connor complained. But his eyes were sparkling blue, filled with love.

He’d looked at Jackson like that before he’d left for Tampa, that much Jackson knew, but now it was impossible to deny what it was. Not when he was feeling the same.

“Honestly, I didn’t think I could do it and pretend you were only a friend,” Jackson admitted. “And so I thought I’d leave it up to you. Whatever you wanted to do.”

Comprehension dawned on Connor’s face. “So you’re not pissed.”

“Not even remotely, though, what the fuck were you doing trying to surprise me?”

“Surprising you,” Connor retorted with a wry grin. “And man, you looked surprised.”

I was afraid you’d brushed me off. Maybe forever.

That had been unfair, maybe. He would need to confess that doubt to Connor—if they were really going to do this, to try to make it despite all the odds stacked against them, honesty was going to be the most important thing—but he wasn’t going to do it now. Not when he had one thing he needed to do very desperately, first.

“Come on,” Jackson said and reached out, taking Connor’s hand.

This time it was Connor who was surprised. But then it wasn’t like they hadn’t touched like this occasionally, in public. But Connor went easily, climbing the stairs next to Jackson. He unlocked the door with trembling fingers, and the moment it shut behind them, Jackson couldn’t help it anymore.

He reached up, cupping Connor’s face with his hands, tipping his head close.

“God, I missed you,” he murmured, hearing the dark rasp of desperation in his own voice.

“Missed you too. So fucking much,” Connor said and his eyes fluttered closed.

There was nothing else he wanted as much as he wanted to kiss Connor right now, but he held back, just feeling him for a moment. He’d missed the sex, the gut punch of the orgasms they teased out of each other. But he’d missed just this, the quiet of their embrace, even more. The quickness of his breath, the rise and fall of his chest, the way his arms tensed around Jackson. The soft, vulnerable skin of the back of his neck under his fingertips as he stroked it there. That they fit together, Connor taller and thinner, Jackson shorter and broader, like they’d been built for each other.

“Why did you surprise me?” Jackson asked.

Connor made a shrugging movement, but crowded in closer to Jackson after. Like he wanted to crawl inside him. “Seemed like a good idea, at the time.”

“And?”

He chuckled. “Can’t get anything past you, can I?”

“I thought you’d be calling me the minute you finished the game,” Jackson admitted. “I thought . . .”