Page 96 of Dark Romeo

“I saw you at the back of the service at his funeral, sneaking into the church after everyone was seated,” Father Laurence said softly. “You didn’t stick around afterwards for the wake.”

“I had to run off.” That wasn’t exactly a lie.

He nodded slowly. “I hear your father has convinced you to stay in Verona.”

“That’s one way to put it.”

Father Laurence frowned. “But you’re not happy to be back.”

“Would you be happy if you were me?” I asked, my voice a bitter note. “It’s only a matter of time before…” I trailed off.

He slipped his hand on my shoulder and squeezed. The single touch gave me more comfort than I’d ever gotten from my father. I wondered what my life would have been like if my mother had chosen someone like Father Laurence as a husband.

After my mother married my father, Father Laurence joined the priesthood. They said he did that because he loved my mother; he would never love anyone else. Despite the rumors, my mother and Father Laurence had remained close. I had always dismissed the stories as just that. But sometimes I wondered how close they had been… Or perhaps it was easier to believe that I might not have Tyrell blood in my veins.

Father Laurence gave me a weighted stare. “Nothing is inevitable. We all have a choice, Roman.”

Some people did. Not me.

“I don’t know how to say no to him.”

Father Laurence sighed. “Giovanni Tyrell is a difficult man. He’s gotten worse since your mother, God rest her soul, passed away.”

I didn’t even have the energy to nod.

He studied me, frowning. It felt like he was looking right into me. He always could. That’s why he was the one I turned to for advice. “That’s not the only thing on your mind, is it?”

I leaned forward and ran my hands roughly through my hair. “There’s a woman.”

Father Laurence, unlike most people, knew when to be silent. He was silent for long enough that I began to fill in the noiselessness with the things that were clattering around in my head.

“I can’t stop thinking about her. When I’m awake, I crave her. At night, I dream about her. I need her. Want her. How do I make it stop?”

“We all have desires, Roman,” he said slowly. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Coming from a man who was strong enough to control his worldly desires. I, on the other hand… “This is different. She is different. She’s…” I laughed when I realized I could never put her perfection into words. I could try. “She is so good that… No, she is goodness. She has so much goodness in her that she sees it in everyone else.” She saw it…in me. Of all the tainted, stained, wretched creatures on the planet, she saw something good in me.

Realization flooded his eyes. “You love her.”

“No!” I swore out loud, my voice echoing around the inside the church, but the Father didn’t admonish me. “I just don’t want her getting caught up in my shitty life.” This was all I would admit to him. To myself. “She is not someone I should want.”

The Father frowned. “Why?”

So many reasons. “She’s the daughter of my enemy. We are on opposite sides of the law. She hates me. I hate…” I swallowed down the knot in my throat. “I am supposed to hate her.”

Father Laurence sucked in a breath, a sudden look of realization crossing his face. “Julianna Cap?—”

“Don’t. Don’t say her name.” Hearing her name stabbed like a knife. I rubbed my face with my hands. How the fuck did I get into this mess? How the fuck did I get out?

“You don’t think you deserve her.” It wasn’t a question.

I let out a curt laugh. “I don’t deserve her. She’s doesn’t deserve to be poisoned by me or my family. The best thing I could do for her is to leave her alone. But…I don’t think I can. I don’t think I want to.”

“Does she know how you feel?”

I shuddered. The only reason I’d been able to hold on to my own leash is because of the hatred I saw in her eyes when I insulted her or rejected her, even though it tore me to pieces to do it. I only wished I could take all the hurt I caused her for myself. “I can’t tell her. She can never know.” I snapped my face towards Father Laurence. “You won’t tell her either. You won’t breathe a word to her.”

Father Laurence was unaffected by the look I gave him. He made me feel like a puppy pretending to be a wolf. He was one man who truly wasn’t afraid of me. “Of course I won’t.”