Page 176 of Dark Romeo

Father Laurence set me up in a spare room up in the tower of the church. It was simply furnished with a small bed and rug, a tiny toilet in an adjacent room. I lay upon this bed with a thin pillow under my head. The pre-dawn light was still minutes away from lighting up the stained glass windows, so all was dark except for a single candle I’d kept lit by my side. I was already drowning in darkness; I could not stand to be consumed by the night. I was very much alone except for the ghosts of all the men I’d sent to their deaths. I was not a superstitious man, but something about the vaulted ceiling that rose above me—or perhaps it was the ghost of tears and cold finality that clung to the gray stone walls—made me feel as if I were lying at the base of my own tomb.

A knock sounded on the door.

I sat up, thankful for the reprise from my sour self-pity. “Come in, Father.”

The door creaked open. A figure, much too short to be Father Laurence, stepped into the small room and closed the door.

“Jules…” I stood, my heart jamming against the back of my throat and wrapping around my spine. If I weren’t already standing with the backs of my calves against the bed, I would have stumbled back farther, knocked off my feet at the sight of her.

She was an angel in a dark hooded sweater and jeans, the lit candle she was holding brushing a warm radiance about her face, making her whiskey eyes glow like amber. “I came to speak to Father Laurence. He told me you were here.”

The good Father did give me up after all. “Have you come to arrest me? I’ll go peacefully.”

Her mouth sprang open. “I didn’t tell them it was you.”

What? “Why? I am guilty.”

She lifted her chin, her honey hair falling over her shoulders to frame her face. “If you are guilty, then so am I.”

“You? Guilty?” I couldn’t believe her words. Her only guilt was caring too much for me.

“If I’d only told Espinoza about you, about us, he wouldn’t have fired.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“I am as much to blame as you.”

I shook my head, disbelief making me lightheaded. “If you’re not here to arrest me, then…why are you here?” She was risking her reputation by being here.

“Could you…?” She stepped farther into the room, then hesitated.

“Could I what?”

“Could you find it in your heart to forgive me?”

Forgive her? My head spun so hard I was nearly forced to my knees. “Forgive you…” I could barely get the words out, they were so absurd, “for what?”

“The way I sent you away… What I said to you…” She chewed on her beautiful bottom lip, sending a curl of warmth through me.

“Leave now,” she hissed. “Leave Verona. Go where you’ll never be found. Because the next time I see you, I will bring you in.”

She was here asking for…of all things…my forgiveness, when I should be begging for hers.

“I’d just shot your partner, your friend.” I took a step towards her, partly testing her reaction to my proximity, partly because it physically hurt to be in a room with her and not get closer. “Your reaction was angelic considering the circumstances.”

“He’d just killed your best friend.” She matched my step. “Your reaction was…understandable considering the circumstances.”

She didn’t hate me. Through my darkness, a ray of light appeared. I could scarcely dare to hope. “Do you think…” Dare I ask? “Do you think…you could ever forgive me?” I kept closing the space between us, desperate to hear the answer and yet terrified of it too.

“That is what love does. Forgives the unforgivable.”

My head spun at her words. Could she still love me? After all I had done? “You still l…” I trailed off. I felt so undeserving even to speak the word.

“Still love you? Yes.” She lifted her chin, her features stained with sorrow. And yet there, on her face, was everything I’d ever wanted but never deserved. Forgiveness, openness, love. I took it because I could not believe my luck. I took it because I could not do anything else.

I claimed her mouth. I stole her breath into my lungs and let it bring me back to life. I crushed her against me like I could drag her into my body. Her tiny fingers curled into my shirt and she pressed up against the heart that only beat for her. This was my saving grace; that I was good enough to love her.

I promised to God, from that moment on, I would do everything in my power to be the man she deserved. To be the man she saw in me. To be the man who deserved her love. Even if it took a whole lifetime.

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