Page 45 of Auctioned to the Cowboys

“We’ll leave you to make yourselves comfortable. You can settle in now, and we’ll be out later this afternoon. The big stuff starts at the crack of dawn. I’ll come down with Clint and Maverick later, so you know what you’re expected to do.”

“Yes, boss!”

They’re tagged with tamper-proof trackers, so there’s no point in them trying to leave the ranch.

I’m going to have to find a way to block out this guy. He’s pushing my buttons, but I can’t lose my cool when Taylor is so clearly already feeling on edge. There’s a disturbance behind me, and Michael steps away too quickly for comfort.

“What the hell just happened, Taylor?”

She’s flushed red and clearly uncomfortable. “Nothing, it was nothing.”

“Don’t give me that. It was something.”

Taylor doesn’t respond but flees from the bunkhouse and is out of sight before I can stop her.

“Any of you lay a hand on that girl, and I promise you, I’ll knock you from here to Kingdom Come. God knows what Clint will do to you. You’ve been warned.”

Shaking with rage, I leave them behind. My priority has to be Taylor. When I catch up to her, tears are already streaming down her face.

“Taylor, stop!” I grab her shoulder and pull her into me. She sinks into my chest and trembles against my firm grip.

“Ssh, ssh, it’s all right. No one’s going to hurt you. I….we won’t let anyone touch you. You don’t need to have anything to do with them. They won’t ever come near the house. Okay?”

She tries to speak but her words are muffled as she presses herself further into my shirt. “What is it, Taylor?” I wait for her to compose herself, my heart pounding with a desire to take care of her and to protect her from all the darkness of the world.

“Can we just go back to the house? Please?”

“Come on. Maverick and Clint will be back soon. We’ll make sure that the ranch hands won’t trouble you.”

When Taylor pulls away, her eyes are glazed. She has been triggered by what just happened, and her reaction is more extreme than I would have expected unless she has prior trauma. I know Clint believes she does, but she’s too shut off to tell us the truth.

“I’ve got to ride back on Bristol. You can ride with me.”

We walk back to the bunkhouse in silence, and I mount Bristol before pulling her up to join me. Taylor nestles in front of me, and riding back to the house with her between my arms and legs feels like a slice of heaven. Clint brought her here this morning on Hermes, but he had to make a hasty exit.

She smells of peonies and roses, and at this moment, I hope that being close to me makes her feel safe. The silence is comfortable and companionable. But I know that we’ll have to have a difficult discussion because I realize that until I’m totally clear of what Taylor has been through in her past, the future will be something out of reach for all of us.

15

TAYLOR

A TIME FOR CONFESSION

The hot water pounds into the bathtub, sending a wave of steam towards the ceiling. I stare into the churning foam of bubbles, my mind consumed with what happened at the bunkhouse. It was all my fault. They sensed my weakness and preyed on it. It’s what happens to girls like me. If I was stronger or older, they would have left me alone. But I have victim written all over me. Mindy sensed it, and Beth, too.

Brian made me feel so on edge, bringing my past crashing back. Everything about him, from his tired, watery eyes to his grimy fingernails, felt familiar. I can’t begin to bury the past while the present provides such stark reminders. I think I’m okay, but then the sensation of Michael’s punishing grip on my ass and his hot breath on the back of my neck returns like a ghost wound. I can still smell the stale aroma of unwashed clothing and tobacco breath.

Collapsing into Jesse’s arms felt like a failure. These cowboys don’t want a weak woman who falls apart. They want a strong, practical wife who can handle all the stresses and strains of ranch life—a woman strong enough to be a wife to three powerful, brooding cowboys and a mother to their children.

Brian’s words were like a whip across my chest. You look like a kid. I was so mortified. So much for lipgloss and mascara and my attempts to dress more maturely. I might look young on the outside, but inside, I feel older than my years.

Worst of all, Mitch could hardly bring himself to look at Jesse. And that’s my fault, too. If it wasn’t for me, none of this would be happening. Jesse seemed so defeated. I’m starting to think things would be better for everyone if I wasn’t here.

I’ve lived enough of my life as part of an unhappy family.

Now, without meaning to, I’ve brought the same atmosphere here. I can’t live under that cloud, and I don’t want to bring Molly into yet another stressful situation. Although Jesse tried his best to comfort me, and I felt safe in his arms, I sense that he’s consumed with how much my arrival is affecting his life.

I feel so confused about being here.

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