Page 31 of Auctioned to the Cowboys

Hey, you. Where are you? Missing you around here. Let me know if you’re all right!

This one message makes me feel less alone and like I do at least have a link to the outside world, the real world. But it also sends a ripple of panic through me. Why hasn’t she mentioned Molly?

Hey, Natalie. I’m okay. I’ll call and explain what’s going on when I get the chance. Did Molly come to see you?

The message remains unread. I know Natalie won’t be able to check her phone on shift, but unease settles in my stomach. But after only a minute, the phone rings.

“Natalie!” The relief in my voice is palpable.

“Taylor! Where’ve you been? You missed your shift. I tried calling you, but you didn’t pick up.” My heart drops.

“Didn’t Molly come on Saturday?”

There’s a pause. “Molly? No. Why?”

“Shit.” I stand rigid, my phone clutched so tightly in my hand that my tendons ache.

“When you didn’t come to work, I drove past your place, but it was dark. Not even a porch light. I didn’t want to disturb your dad. I thought maybe you were ill.”

“I’m not ill. Just away for a while.”

“Away where?”

I want to confide in my friend, but I can’t. I’m too ashamed of what my dad has done to me and the risk that will be put on Molly. He’s a terrible father, but the alternative of foster care or a group home is worse. How would I find Molly again if she’s taken away? All I need is a few weeks, and then, if I can make Clint, Jesse, and Maverick like me enough, maybe they’ll let me bring Molly here.

“Would you go round?” I ask. “Maybe take a pie. Have a reason for being there.”

“Yeah. Of course, Taylor. Should I be worried about you… about Molly?”

“No.” The word comes out too quickly, and Natalie is silent for a while. I can almost hear the questions running through her mind, but she decides not to probe.

“Can you let me know when you’ve seen her? I asked her to fill in for me. It’s not like her to not listen.”

“Of course. I miss you here, you know. It’s not the same without you.”

“I miss you, too.”

There’s a pause, and I can tell that Natalie wants to ask more questions, but she must think better. “Okay, then. Bye for now!”

“Yeah. Bye.”

I rest the phone in my lap as helplessness grips me by the throat. Outside my door, a floorboard creaks. The house is old, so it’s probably just a movement, but then the sound of retreating footsteps becomes obvious. Who was out there, and how much of my conversation with Natalie did they hear?

I have to pull myself together to do what I’m so used to doing. To pretend that I’m fine and just get on with it. I’m here to work and to serve the needs of these cowboys, not languish around with baths worrying about lipgloss. I glance at myself in the mirror, in a new tank and jeans. My hair curls damply around my face. My cheeks are as pink as my lips. Already, I look like a different person.

What would Molly think if she saw me in these nice clothes? Would she be happy, or would she feel like I left her behind to better myself?

She’s not a little girl anymore. She’s heading into womanhood, and the thought of her facing any of the things that maturity has brought me fills me with dread.

I can get to her before anything bad happens, I tell myself. I say a silent prayer for protection for my sister. I’d suffer any kind of pain to keep her safe. If the cowboys ask me who I was talking to, I won’t tell them. It’s too soon. But hopefully, if I play my cards right and become everything they want me to be, they’ll help me.

Before I leave my room, I swipe a layer of gloss over my lips, and manage a few strokes of mascara, too. I can be what they want me to be. Forming myself around the needs of others is the only way I know how to live.

Downstairs, there’s a note left propped on the table. We have some friends coming over later on. Can you please prepare dinner for six and bake something sweet? Thanks. J

Maybe it was Jesse who was at my door?

A frisson of nerves and anticipation sets the hair rising on the back of my neck. I get the feeling he won’t like secrets. When I asked him a question, he was straight and honest with his answer.

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