Page 7 of Truly, Madly, Deeply

“You heard it here first, communication. All the cool kids are doing it. Truly, thank you so much. Colin, what words of wisdom do you have to impart upon our poor Uptown Girl?”

“Short answer?” Colin said. “Honestly, I don’t see you and your boyfriend working out long term, Uptown Girl. Long answer? It sounds to me like sexual compatibility isn’t the only issue you two are up against. Sounds like he might be conflict averse and not exactly the most communicative considering his lackluster if not defensive response to the question of why he isn’t willing to, er, orally reciprocate, which isn’t our business, but certainly is yours. Not his thing could mean just about anything, but without further explanation? It sounds like a cop-out to me. I’m also slightly concerned at the phrasing”—Colin cleared his throat, the tips of his ears turning pink—“occasionally get off with him. Not sure if I’m paraphrasing there or—”

“No.” Caitlin shook her head. “That is unfortunately verbatim.”

“Yeah.” Colin cringed. “That phrase isn’t inspiring a lot of confidence in me. Personally.” He held up his hands. “I’m not saying sex needs to be a tit-for-tat sort of deal—don’t fucking make a joke, Caitie—it’s more complex than that, or I guess it should be, but there is something to be said for all parties being on the same page regarding satisfaction and I’m getting the sense that’s not happening here. Does he care about your pleasure at all or is it incidental to him? In my opinion, your partner should worship at the altar of your body and if they don’t, they’re probably not the partner for you.”

Color her impressed. Colin McCrory wasn’t entirely hopeless.

“Truly, Colin, I want to extend my sincerest thanks for handling that with such aplomb.” Caitlin’s gaze flitted to the notecard in her hands. “Fair warning, this next question is a bit of a doozy and quite possibly divisive. Dear Caitlin & Co., My partner and I have been together for just over three years. I’m happy and I thought she was happy until recently, she sat me down and said she wants to take a break. We’re both supposed to be starting grad school in the fall, but now she says she’s thinking about deferring for the semester and backpacking in Spain with a group of friends. She told me she needs to prioritize herself and that she doesn’t have the energy to devote to our relationship right now, but I don’t understand why she can’t go on this trip and put her needs first without us having to press pause on our relationship.”

It was eerie how this stranger had ripped a page right out of Truly’s diary. Eerie enough that she had to tamp down the urge to shift uneasily.

“I asked her if she wants to break up and she was adamant she doesn’t,” Caitlin continued. “I’m feeling uneasy about this whole thing, but I really don’t want to lose her. Help! Signed, Dazed and Confused. Colin? Since Truly went first on our last question, do you want to start us off?”

“Sure.” He crossed one leg over the other, left ankle resting across his right knee, dark denim tightening across his thighs, straining. “Change can be really frightening, and I can see why the idea of taking a break might make you feel uncertain. To be perfectly honest, the stats aren’t in your favor. Roughly eighty percent of married couples who separate end up divorcing. Grim, I know, but that being said, I don’t think what your partner is suggesting is necessarily a bad thing.”

“Way to give us whiplash,” Caitlin said.

It was like she’d read Truly’s mind.

“Hold on. They aren’t married, so those stats I mentioned? Not entirely relevant to their situation. Dazed and Confused mentioned grad school, so I’m assuming they’re both young? Early to mid-twenties? Recent studies show that roughly sixty percent of couples who get married between twenty and twenty-five divorce. Not that they said they were discussing marriage, but it sounds like Dazed and Confused’s partner realizes she has some growing to do and, if she takes this time now, and if they’re able to make it work, big if granted, perhaps she’ll wind up being a better partner in the long run.”

“A better partner to someone else.” The words escaped before Truly had even realized she’d opened her mouth.

Both Colin and Caitlin stared at her.

Heat flooded her cheeks. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

“No, by all means.” Colin smiled. “That’s what this is about, right? Different perspectives? I’d love to hear what you have to say.”

Even before she’d been burned by Justin, even before he’d suggested taking a break, she’d never been sold on the concept. Sure, she’d clung to the hope of having a stronger, happier relationship, but a tiny, niggling voice in the back of her head had whispered something wasn’t right.

Maybe at first blush it didn’t seem like what a dyed-in-the-wool romantic would say, but she could hardly in good conscience advise someone to ignore their gut the way she had.

Truly perfected her posture, leaning in toward the mic. “Let’s be generous and go with Colin’s interpretation of Dazed and Confused’s partner’s motivations and say she realizes she needs to grow. What’s stopping her from doing that with Dazed and Confused? Why does her growth necessitate distance from her partner and their life together—be it physical or emotional? No offense, but the entire concept of taking a break is bullshit to me. It’s nothing more than inviting in unnecessary uncertainty. Are you allowed to call them? Are you still exclusive? What if you have—”

“I think those are all things Dazed and Confused and their partner should discuss so that their time apart can be constructive.”

“I wasn’t finished.” She tugged on the hem of her skirt, hands shaking. “As I was saying—is your partner really looking to grow, or is it just an excuse to hook up with someone new? There’s nothing romantic about not being someone’s first priority. Don’t you want to be the first thing they think about in the morning and the last thing they think about at night? Don’t you want to be with someone who can’t stand the idea of being apart from you? Shouldn’t you be their confidant and their rock and their—their port in a storm? Shouldn’t they be yours? Are they always going to ask for space in a crisis? What kind of relationship do you have if you’re the first thing on the chopping block every time the going gets hard? What sort of faith does that instill, huh? What if you’re the one going through a crisis? What if you need them? What about for better or for worse? What if you get sick? Are they going to run for the hills every time the going gets tough?”

Everything she’d said was some variation of what Lulu had told her two weeks ago, advice she wished—because of course, hindsight was twenty-twenty—she’d listened to. If she could spare someone else the heartache? She was all for speaking the truth.

Colin stared. “Hm.”

She stared back. “What’s hm supposed to mean?”

“I feel like you’re making a lot of assumptions here.”

“The writing’s on the wall. A break is nothing more than delaying the inevitable.”

“That’s a little reductive, don’t you think?”

“I don’t, actually. Seeing as I said it.”

“Are you familiar with attachment styles?”

What? “Sure.” Vaguely. Ish.

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