Page 34 of Truly, Madly, Deeply

Lulu rolled her eyes. “That’s the thing, you don’t want your parents to be happy; you want them to be together.”

“It’s the same thing.”

“Is it?”

Truly sipped her beer and tried not to make a face. Next round, she was totally ordering a Dirty Shirley. “Obviously.”

“Look, babe, light of my goddamn life, I love you and I know your heart is in the right place, but your brain? Babe, it’s all kinds of fucked-up.”

Yikes.

“You sure know how to make a girl feel special.”

Lulu waved her off. “Oh shut up. We’re all a little fucked-up. It’s just that your brand of fucked-up is a little more”—she clenched her fingers like she was choking someone—“hands-on.”

Her brows rose. “Are you insinuating that I’m some kind of control freak?”

“Hon, you waved goodbye at controlling as you passed it miles back.” Lulu wiped beer foam from her top lip. “I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. It’s just a thing. You like to call the shots. You can’t help it any more than you can help that your eyes are brown.”

“You just literally called my brain fucked-up.”

“Ugh, I hate it when you pay attention to what I say.” Lulu nudged Truly’s beer toward her, urging her to drink up. “I’m just saying, there should only be two people in your parents’ marriage.” She cocked her head. “Unless they’re game to add a third. Your dad is a stud.”

Truly wrinkled her nose. “Gross.”

“Objectively, your father’s a silver fox.”

“Objectively, my father has no hair on his head.”

Lulu looked at her and they burst out laughing.

“He looks like Stanley Tucci!” Lulu argued. “He fixes a mean Aperol Spritz! It’s hot.”

“He’s my father!”

“I have eyes and a functioning libido.” Lulu sniffed. “Your daddy’s dead sexy, live with it.”

Truly shivered. “I will pay you to never call my father daddy ever again.”

“Get the next round and I’ll try to restrain myself. My point stands. I know you love your parents, but it’s their relationship. Not yours, theirs. I say this with all the love in my heart, of which for you I have an abundance, but this isn’t yours to fix. Quit meddling; that way madness lies.”

“All I’m doing is making sure the circumstances are conducive for communication. That’s it! The rest is up to them.”

Lulu stared, looking unconvinced. “You’re literally tricking them into being at the same place at the same time. The same itty-bitty lake house. You called it forced proximity. You want to know what I heard when you said that? Captivity.”

Beer dribbled out the sides of Truly’s mouth. “Lulu!” She scrambled for a napkin and of course there were none. She wiped her chin with her hand. “Way to make it sound like my parents are Ling-Ling and Hsing-Hsing. I’m not a zookeeper.”

“Come on. You’re engineering the perfect environment for them. A place they can’t escape—”

“They each have cars. Freak.”

Lulu flipped her off. “Oh, like you haven’t considered leaving out a little guest basket for them. Massage oils and flavored lubricants and teas to stimulate their libidos. You’re probably going to show up to the cabin early just so you can douse their bedroom with black market pheromones you bought online.”

“Your brain is a scary place.”

“No worse than yours, you hypocrite.”

“Contrary to whatever goes on in your wildest, weirdest fantasies, I have no intention of forcing my parents to do anything they don’t want to do.” Other than, you know, be in the same place at the same time and talk. “I just want to encourage... togetherness. Communication. This isn’t about me. I just want them to remember all the reasons they love each other.”

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