Page 5 of Marrying My Ex's Boss

I have to say, this is not how I expected my night to end. I thought for sure I’d be curled up in a ball, bawling my eyes out and mourning the death of my marriage.

“You know, you’re pretty cute.”

“Cute?” He showed me his muscles, which made me howl with laughter for some reason, and roll around on the blanket I’d grabbed from inside the beach house when we arrived.

“No, seriously, thanks for this. I haven’t laughed this much since I don’t know when.” Cute, my ass, he’s hot, and this weed is kicking in, and I refuse to give my soon-to-be ex-used tampon the satisfaction of being a dirty cheat like him.

“I know that look. Let me put your mind at ease. I won’t fuck you until you sign the divorce papers. Five minutes after you sign them or however long it takes to get from the courthouse to the nearest hotel, that’s when I’m going to fuck you for the first time.”

He actually had the balls to smile at me under the moonlight after saying that shit. Don’t stop get it, get it. No-no-no Justice, you man whore, keep your drawers on. We will not revert back to our high school days. Shake that ass, girrrrl, make that coochie wet.

“Why are you twitching around like that?

Have mercy; turn those eyes that way.

“No reason, I’m trying to distract my slutty twin.”

“You’ve got a twin? Where is she?”

“He!” I pointed at my head, “He lives in there. He likes to embarrass me, so if you see me acting different, it’s him, not me, and I am not responsible for anything he does or says.”

“A twin, huh? I’d like to meet him.”

“You did earlier tonight. He’s the one with the Pogo stick up the ass.” Now, it was his turn to laugh.

“And here I was imagining what else we could fit up there once I get you going.”

“No sir, you will not be getting anywhere near my ass. You may not have noticed, but ever since you took off your tuxedo jacket and laid down on this blanket, I’ve been trying to figure out if a cottonmouth snake slid up your pants leg or if that thing is real.” Fuck you, Justice, for saying that shit with my mouth.

‘Bitch that’s all you.’

MARCUS

I would’ve driven back or slept in my car, but she invited me in to spend the night. Of course, she promised to sleep with her Daddy’s shotgun and blow my balls off if I even walked past her door to get to the bathroom.

“I’ll just piss out the window then, I guess.”

“You’ll flood the damn ocean with that thing,” She snorted and laughed while smacking my shoulder like we were old friends, and we went our separate ways for the night.

I took a shower and got into bed naked because I don’t sleep in underwear unless absolutely necessary, and sleeping in a tuxedo pants didn’t sound like too much fun.

I had barely laid my head down on the pillow when my phone rang.

“Markie.”

“Oh, hi gramps, shit, I forgot about you.”

“What’s new about that? So, I hear you left the party early.”

“I did, yes.”

“Any reason why?”

“Why are you so upset, old man?”

“Why do you say that I’m upset?”

“Because whenever you are, that high-brow British accent pops out.”

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