Page 13 of Marrying My Ex's Boss

In ten years, my husband had made me breakfast in bed once, and that was when I was too sick to get up and make it myself.

“He doesn’t need wingmen. He’s usually beating the women off with a stick, and that’s before they know about his worth.”

“I can see that.”

“Some of them I beat off with a stick because two assholes are just too much. He’s already a pain in the ass, but some of those females that are trying to get into his pockets start acting ignorant as soon as he gives them some dick. I don’t know what the hell is so….”

“Monique, I will straight up strangle you and carry you out to sea.”

“Fine, this one doesn’t look crazy, but if she turns out to be, you’re on your own.”

JUSTINE

“I’m sorry about all this, babe. I know it’s a lot, but we can’t rest on our laurels. I know Melanie; I know how her mind works. The fact that you embarrassed her in front of all those people she worked so hard to impress isn’t something she’s going to let go of easily.”

“Who cares? As if you’ll let her get near this one.” Monique looked at her nails; they were gorgeous, by the way, which reminded me. I haven’t had a manicure in months.

“Yeah, but she doesn’t know that I’m back, neither does she know that Justine and I are an item or that she’s under my protection.”

“How could she not know that you’re back? Didn’t she see you at the party?”

“No, I left to follow Justine before anyone saw me, really.”

“And you don’t want anyone knowing until after the divorce that you two are in a relationship.”

“Exactly, Carl. So that’s the first thing we have to navigate. For now, she’s going to be working with me, but that’s going to take a while because we have to get the daycare set up first because she wants the kids to be close.”

“I say we take both of them for a plane ride over South Sudan and drop them off in a parachute. Her asshole ex and that thing your father brought home with the hag he married.”

“I like her idea; let’s go with that.”

“Both of you be quiet. Monique, if you’re going to be like this, you can have the next three months off. Go pester your son in Boston.”

“Why the hell would I do that? And miss all the fun? All that boy talks about these days is body parts. It was fun playing doctor when he was a kid, but he’s damn near a whole-ass adult, so all he does these days is nag-nag-nag about every little sniffle. You know this. Why are you being mean to me?”

He rolled his eyes at her and turned back to me. “Listen, trust me, I know what I’m doing. Like I said, I know Melanie and her ilk; she’s going to try to get back at you, and she’s going to use your husband and kids to do it. We’re getting out in front of all that before she strikes.”

“I’m not understanding how you got this soft this quick. You’ve only been back a day, and you’re already….”

“There’re children involved, you female python.”

“Carl, don’t start with her. Now, I think I should introduce Justine to Gramps first thing first, my first day at the office. Justine, is there anyone you trust to leave the kids with for a few hours?”

“Uh-huh, the babysitter.” What is going on? ‘You can’t tell? That’s a real man right there. Don’t you feel ashamed after wasting your life with that small dick asshole you were soooo in love with?’ Justice, I know you’re stuck on the size of his cock, but this is serious. If you don’t have anything constructive to add, pipe your ass down.

‘I’m just saying, even if he is crazy, it’s not like you have to marry him. You were married to the asshole for ten years, and look where that got us. At least one weekend of that monster isn’t going to change much.’

No.

“What’s going on?”

“She’s talking to her twin.”

“What? Where?” Monique looked around the room for a person, and I wanted to fall under the damn floorboards. Why did he tell them that?

“He’s like your Aunt Bessie.”

“Ohhhh, ain’t nobody like my aunt Bessie. That bitch, she mean as hell.”

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