Page 87 of What It Means To Be Found

He sat a few sections away, man spread in full force as he kept his leg firmly pressed against a brunette woman who was watching the hockey game with clear interest. She was cheering and shouting at the team just like everyone else was, but Connor had settled with an arm looped on the back of her chair, his eyes on the three of us.

Logan’s agent lifted a hand in greeting, a small and clearly reluctant smile on his lips accompanied with a head nod.

I didn’t wave back, and neither did Courtney, but Taylor did.

It was comical, because as far as I knew Connor hadn’t gone out of his way to speak to Taylor ever, but the fact that they were the only one to return his wave made his brows scrunch in confusion, and he refocused his attention on the game.

Courtney snorted, “Why did you wave back?”

Taylor smirked, fidgeting with their nose ring, “Because I knew he wasn’t waving at me, and I’m a petty bitch.”

Courtney and I laughed at that, easing some of the tension that had lingered in my body from the realization that Connor was here, watching the game. It was something I needed to get used to, unfortunately. Connor was Logan’s agent, and I doubted that I wouldn’t ever see him again. It sucked, considering Connor James was the one single hook up decision I had made in my adult life that I thoroughly regretted with my entire being.

“I consented that night with Connor,” I blurted out, surprise taking over my anxiety after realizing what I was trying to talk to Courtney and Taylor about, at Logan’s game no less. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw them both slowly turn their heads towards me. I cleared my throat, released a nervous smile, and faced them. I stared into Courtney’s dark eyes, determined to channel just a drop of her bold demeanor as I thought about my words carefully.

“I-I consented,” I said again, “But, that doesn’t mean that I didn’t change my mind later on.” I swallowed, watching the concern etch itself into both Taylor and Courtney’s facial features. “I didn’t tell him I changed my mind,” I added, proud of myself for how controlled my voice sounded even though my heart was thumping in my chest erratically, “And maybe I should have spoken up. Maybe I should have said something.” I shrugged, and I knew Courtney was about to say something, so I spoke up again to finish my thoughts before she could interrupt me, “But, he also shouldn’t assume my original verbal consent was a free pass for whatever he wanted to do.” I lifted another nervous shoulder, tucking my lips between my teeth while I stared at my friends. The rock music playing in the rink was a faded, background noise to the moment I just initiated with my friends. To the vulnerability and honesty I was exposing to them.

“You’re right,” Courtney nodded, “He shouldn’t have.”

“Any moron can tell when their partner changes their mind,” Taylor added, “But it sounds like he chose to ignore the signs out of selfishness.”

I nodded once, inhaling a deep breath through my nose before slowly exhaling through my mouth. Just like I had seen both of them tell the toddlers that they worked with to do when they were feeling some big emotions.

“I don’t want to give it too much attention,” I added, “I’d like to move on. I’m never sleeping with him again, and he might be figuring that out.” I nodded vaguely in the direction that he was sitting with the woman who looked like his date.

It was a real bummer that he was Logan’s agent. I got a sick feeling in my stomach at the thought of running into Connor as often as we had, but that was part of adulthood. I wanted to be brave, and not be so obvious about my anxiety around him.

Plus, just because we would bump into each other from time to time, didn’t mean we needed to pretend to be friends or anything. Thankfully the fact that it looked like he brought a date meant that he probably wouldn’t try to corner me into talking with him. Perhaps he was finally getting the hint. Like the last time we bumped into each other at one of Logan’s games.

Because I would definitely be going to more of Logan’s games.

I grinned as Logan threw another wink in my direction as he fought off one of the opposing players, successfully clearing a path for his teammate on the other side of the rink. Excitement was starting to course through my veins, watching him in his element and finally being able to appreciate it all. He’d made it here, regardless of his accident and communication barriers. The guy who had no one in his corner, beyond his teammates, for years, until all of us.

Hell, Logan even managed to win me over. A year ago, I would have laughed in the face of anyone who suggested that he and I would end up together. Logan, the guy who showed me the roughest parts of him first. The guy who offended me time and time again but didn’t give up on trying to wave a white flag between the two of us.

The guy who took my unsolicited voice memos in stride.

I blushed, remembering that even though Logan and I had gone out on a handful of dates in between practices and hockey games and my work schedule, I hadn’t ever admitted to him the total truth regarding my voice memos.

I smirked to myself as I watched my boyfriend skate past us again, earning cheers from our friends. I had a feeling that Logan would appreciate the true story now.

***

“Traitor,” Taylor grumbled as we made our way down the hallway. I had just stepped out of the elevator with Logan, bidding them goodbye.

“You’re just bitter that there is a one thousand percent chance that I’m getting laid tonight, and you’re not,” I quipped back, looping my arm through Logan’s. The material of his suit was nice, and I found myself leaning into his large body more when I caught a whiff of his body wash or aftershave or whatever it was that he wore that smelled delicious on him.

Logan started tugging me away, and Courtney saluted to us as she thumbed away on her phone. The elevator doors started to close, and the last thing I could see was Taylor lifting their middle finger at me with their tongue out. I laughed, snuggling into Logan’s arm that wasn’t tugging my carry-on suitcase and holding his equipment bag on his shoulder.

I said I could handle my own luggage, and Logan had just ignored me.

I was on cloud nine.

We waited for the team after the game, and I practically sprinted into Logan’s arms as soon as he walked through the doors. He had to catch me by placing both of his hands on my butt to support me, which I didn’t think he was too upset about based on the enthusiastic squeeze he gave.

I attacked his face with kisses. It had only been a couple days since we had seen each other, but I missed him dammit.

“Get a room.” Courtney had teased.

---