Page 70 of What It Means To Be Found

Taylor started clapping, nodding their head as if they were a mediator calling a tie between a fight. “Well done, you two. Well done.”

I laughed again as Logan finally yanked the showerhead from my grip and dropped the chocolate syrup to turn off the water, his dark eyes flared in amusement as he slumped against the tile.

I had chocolate syrup all over my hair, dripping off the sides of my face and neck. Probably a good amount of it went down my shirt. My leggings and feet were also soaked from the shower water.

But I had so much fun just then.

Logan and I were just grinning at each other as we took a few moments to catch our breath before Beck started to enter the bathroom with a stack of towels that she set on the countertop.

“Here, you two should get cleaned up,” Beck smiled at us, in on a secret that only she knew about.

I thanked her, and laughed when Josh said, “Hold on, Court. I think some chocolate got on you. You should probably step into the shower, too.”

Courtney playfully slapped Josh’s chest in return, turning to leave down the hallway, “Are you sure you don’t just want to take advantage of the fact that I’m wearing a white t-shirt right now?”

Josh didn’t need any more encouragement. With a low, masculine grunt, he hauled Courtney into the bathroom, almost knocking Beck over before she supported her fall by grabbing onto the doorway.

I laughed as Josh and Courtney’s bodies slammed into the shower wall in between Logan and I, happily handing Josh the shower head so that he could completely drench Courtney’s body as she spluttered and swatted and cackled at her fiancé’s ridiculousness.

The four of us eventually got cleaned up, and even took time to soak up all the water and rinse out all the chocolate syrup that got pooled at the bottom of the tub. I was just so giddy the rest of the night. Even with wet hair and a flushed face and comfy pajamas that I changed into, I felt like I had a place in the world.

Like I belonged and was supported.

I thought back to months ago, about how I brutally ripped myself out of my mother’s clutches by moving out as quickly and efficiently as possible. I didn’t realize how much my soul craved independence from her. From both of my parents. For the first time in my adult life, I felt like I fit.

Like these people saw me for me.

Even Logan, who currently sat on the floor in front of my spot on the couch, was able to make me feel both cherished and appreciated. Even though I had changed a lot since the first time we met.

I stared at the back of his head, admiring how much curlier his hair became after getting drenched in the shower fight, and noted how far I had come as a person. How we both had seen the worst in the other, but still managed to find the softer spots as well.

The part of Logan that had him rubbing my feet when my cramps were bad, or the part of me that originally started to learn his language out of spite, but now I fully intended to learn because I wanted to talk to him. To communicate with him in the way that he felt most comfortable. To show him my appreciation in such a way.

For no other reason than because I wanted him.

20

LOGAN

A couple more weeks passed with Eloise and I sneaking around our friends.

Multiple nights a week, she and I would find time to get together. We even went out on dates, not that either one of us formally called them that. Instead, we would make it casual. One of us would ask if the other had dinner yet before meeting up at either my place, or her place if everyone else was out of the house.

We would go out, go home, argue over which movie to turn on (we found ourselves alternating between her beloved romcoms or my preferred action movies), have amazing sex, and fall asleep tangled up with each other.

Some mornings I would sneak out of her room early enough to not get caught by Courtney or Susan. Other mornings she would sneak out of my bed early enough to make it back to her house without drawing too much suspicion. I respected that this was where we were at.

But I also hated it.

Every time I thought about broaching the subject into becoming something more, something real, the words wouldn’t make themselves present. I chickened out.

Now, though, after a quick shower and dressing in a casual suit after our first home game of the season, I realized that my time with Eloise would become much more limited. I walked out of the locker rooms and headed towards the space where everyone would be waiting to congratulate me on the game. However, I was busy thinking about how I would be traveling a lot more for the next few months. Half of my time would be on the road, playing across the country. Training would take more of my day, which would naturally cut into our time together.

I was pondering about the reality of asking Eloise to become my official, known-to-everybody-else girlfriend, when I glanced up and felt irritation spike in my veins.

It took me a while to be able to name the burning inside of me at the sight of Eloise and Connor talking.

Even though Eloise was clearly uncomfortable.

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