Page 66 of What It Means To Be Found

“My stomach still hurts,” I whispered, “But it’s not unbearable.”

I weirdly knew this about myself. That when I drank enough alcohol or consumed enough marijuana, it was like something opened inside of me. I could talk for days and not feel the shame or embarrassment from my words. It was a relaxed sort of confidence. I enjoyed it most of the time.

“If I wasn’t super gross right now,” I whispered towards his neck, tipping my nose up to inhale his masculine scent, “I’d totally try to take advantage of you and your niceness to make a move.”

Logan’s chest constricted against me a couple of times, and I glanced up to see a smirk playing on his lips. Like he was trying to hold in a laugh, his eyes stuck on the TV.

“Did you know that orgasms can help period cramps?” I asked, not sure if I was still whispering or just mouthing the words. It took a lot of effort to communicate my thoughts for some reason. Logan’s dark eyes glanced down at me, and as he took a good hard look at my eyes, he gave me a reluctant smile and shook his head in the negative.

“It’s true, so like…hypothetically speaking…” I lifted one of my hands to trace a finger across his collarbone, trying to be mildly seductive and teasing as I felt his chest expand at my touch. Quickly, before my finger could trail too far down his chest, one of his arms around me lifted so that he could stop the journey my finger was making.

I pouted, glancing up at him through my eyelashes. I could see that he was affected by my touch, and the evidence of that was slowly growing under my ass, so I was determined to try to make my point.

“Why are you so attractive all the time?” I whispered against his neck, brushing my lips back and forth across his skin. “It’s unfair. I’m only human,” I breathed while tasting one of his scars with my tongue.

Logan’s breath shuttered, and his hand that was holding mine hostage released so that he could cup the back of my head and gently pull me away from him, a smile on his lips as he gently shook his head at me again.

I jutted my bottom lip out farther, loving how his eyes dropped to it as if it was an appealing look. “You don’t want me right now?” I knew I was currently on the heaviest day of my period, but for some reason, I really thought I had a chance of getting into his pants tonight.

Logan closed his eyes and inhaled, before opening them and nodding his head.

“Is it because I’m…bleeding? Because I could use a toy instead, you wouldn’t have to touch me—” Logan’s hand came up and covered my mouth, his teeth digging into his bottom lip as he shook his head and retrieved his phone that he had set to the side. He still supported most of my weight with one arm while he thumbed a message on his phone with the other. After a few quiet moments, he handed me his phone again with the notes app open.

You are high.

I always want you, Eloise.

But only if you are sober.

I shifted a little on his lap, feeling his erection under my ass again, and smiled up at him. The look in his eyes immediately softened at my smile, and I felt my heart constrict in my chest.

“I always want you, too,” I whispered, staring at his lovely mouth. The mouth that I knew for a fact could do delicious, wicked things. “I haven’t wanted anyone else in a long time.” I could feel his chest expand with his breathing, and I leaned into it more, “I don’t know if I ever will…Sometimes that scares me.”

Logan blinked, something flickering across his expression that I was definitely too high to understand. I wrapped one arm around his chest as I snuggled back in, determined to behave myself since he was. I loved that. I loved that Logan had high standards for consent and that I could feel so safe with him. I could literally say that I wanted to sleep with him, but he cared more about my state of mind than the words that I spoke. He wanted to make sure that I was aware enough to ask for that. This man, who I genuinely thought was an asshole for the first year of our acquaintance. Who now I felt closer to than anyone else. How the tables have turned.

“Stay with me?” I asked. I wasn’t sure how the logistics of that would work, considering our friends didn’t know about our secret relationship, and that he had done an excellent job of sneaking out before anyone (except for Beck and Susan) caught us. But all I knew was that I didn’t want him to leave tonight. I wanted him here, with me, as close as physically possible.

Logan’s grip around me tightened as if answering me with his hold.

I grinned and found the dryness in my eyes difficult to blink away. Eventually, I settled for closing them, since the air in the room seemed to be making the dryness worse.

The next time I opened my eyes, the morning sun was shining in through my closed curtains. I was in my soft, warm bed, and the faintest scent of Logan filled the air. I stretched and patted my hand to the side, hoping to find his large warm body, but felt the cool sheets instead.

I lifted my head, frowning, noticing that the covers were pulled back like someone had snuck out of that side of the bed. I blinked my eyes a few times more, rubbing the sleep out of them when I realized that Logan was in here, but he must have left early in the morning. I frowned a little at that.

I…didn’t want him to leave.

I realized that it made the most sense. To sneak out before anyone else in the house woke up and realized he had stayed the night. With me. In my bed. We hadn’t talked about anything beyond Beck accidentally finding out about us at the bookstore. And that we were new and taking things slow. But…I remembered how he took care of me last night. How he prioritized me last night, instead of being with our friends.

Maybe I read too many romance novels, but something in my gut told me that if a grown man actively chose to stay in with a woman on her period, that he liked her for far more than her body.

I mean, Logan was an asshole sometimes, but he wasn’t that much of an asshole.

And the thought of him, maybe hinting through his actions, that he wanted more from our relationship made me smile as I snuggled into my covers once more.

19

ELOISE

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