Page 58 of What It Means To Be Found

I couldn’t help myself, I leaned into him.

He responded by pressing the fronts of our chests together, both of his arms holding the shelf on either side of my head as he leaned his nose down to brush against my hair. I felt his chest expand on an inhale, and we both just stood there for the longest seconds of my life. Completely wrapped up in each other’s space.

“I want you, too,” I whispered, leaning close enough to brush my nose against his shoulder, moving in towards his neck. I felt more than heard the noise that rumbled in his chest, and that made me reach one arm out to clutch the hem of his t-shirt against his abdomen.

One of his hands left the bookshelf to brush my hair behind my ear, a touch that scorched my skin. I leaned away enough to tilt my face up towards him, getting completely lost in his dark hooded eyes. His hand was now twirling a lock of my hair around his index finger.

“Kiss me?” I asked him, desperate for anything I could get away with now. At my whispered words, Logan’s hand released my lock of hair and snaked itself behind my head, cupping the top of my neck to angle my lips for him to reach.

He simply pressed his warm lips against mine, unhurried, patient, and thorough.

I tried my best to be good, to let him kiss me how he wanted, but all too quickly I brushed my tongue against the seam of his lips.

At that, I felt his smile spread across his lips before he used his grip on the back of my head to pull me away, just enough for his dark eyes to meet mine.

“Please,” I whispered, clearly desperate for him. Logan’s smirk tipped up a notch at my plea, and as soon as he lowered his head toward mine again, we heard a startled gasp to our left.

Logan immediately dropped his hold on me and took a step back, whereas when I tried to take a step back, I bumped into bookshelves and knocked a couple of paperbacks over. I was blushing hard, trying not to panic at the sight of Beck standing to the side and staring at us both wide-eyed.

“Sorry!” Beck flapped her hands once before covering her eyes, then her mouth, then her cheeks, and then she spun in an awkward circle before she probably realized running away was silly and faced us again with her hands over her mouth.

Logan and I both dropped to the ground to pick up the books I had knocked over before he pulled the fallen books out of my grip and quickly stood to put them back. This made him awkwardly hover over me again, and I froze half-crouched until he straightened and gave me room to stand.

I was spiraling.

Beck had just seen us kissing each other. And why wouldn’t she? That’s what we got for trying to sneak some kisses in a bookstore we all went to together. But…I didn’t want everyone to know about Logan and me yet. I was pretty sure the way he backed off of me indicated that he felt the same way. What Logan and I were doing was very new, and probably still very fragile. It was mostly physical, and who knew if it would turn into anything more than that.

I didn’t want to risk being part of this social circle, these friendships, if anything with Logan and I ended…well, badly. If we never went beyond this physical relationship we were exploring because we weren’t actually compatible in that way. If everyone knew about us, clearly there would be outside pressure, and people would take sides if we broke up. I didn’t want that. I wanted to figure things out between us before others got involved.

Logan and I both gave each other nervous looks before we faced Beck again.

Her hands were on her cheeks now.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean—”

“It’s fine,” I cut her off, “You did nothing wrong.”

“I didn’t realize that you two—” she cut herself off again, shaking her head. “Sorry, it’s none of my business.”

I bit my lip and looked up at Logan, who had shoved both of his hands in his pockets. He had a pinch between his eyebrows before his gaze slid over to mine, and then the lines in his head loosened the slightest bit.

“We, uh,” I waved my hand around vaguely, “We, um…” I sighed and lowered my hand, wrapping both around Courtney’s book I still miraculously held in my grip, “It’s new.”

Beck pinched her fingers and dragged them over the firm press of her lips, zipping them closed. I smiled and glanced up at Logan, who offered a tiny lift in the corner of his mouth and a nod.

Beck tucked her top lip into her teeth, a facial expression that Courtney often referred to as her Troll Face, before pulling her phone out to check the time and saying, “We still have, like, thirty minutes before we need to meet up with everyone else.”

I shrugged my shoulders, “Okay.”

Beck glanced behind her and then turned back to an awkward Logan and me. “I hear there are some good books in the poetry section.”

I lifted another shoulder, “I’m not really into poetry.”

Beck gave me a blank stare, then said, “Let me try that again.” She lifted a thumb over her shoulder and made pointed eye contact with the both of us. “We have thirty minutes before we are expected anywhere. The poetry section, the partially hidden section around the corner that offers a decent amount of privacy, might have some books you both are interested in.”

I furrowed my brows for a moment before it clicked and I widened my eyes at her.

“Oh, we don’t—” But my sentence was cut off, because Logan had gripped my free hand in his and started tugging me past Beck, who was smiling brightly at the both of us as the large man bolted for the poetry section she spoke of.

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