Page 33 of What It Means To Be Found

“Oh, I didn’t know Dad—Connor was your agent.” Courtney’s voice sounded through the slight ringing in my ears. I was gripping my notebook so tightly that the knuckles in my fingers ached, and I quickly dropped the notebook to flex some blood flow back into them.

Fuck me.

Logan had noticed my hand fidgeting, his dark eyebrows raising a little bit as he took me in before signing again. I was too focused on the reality I had to face as soon as the last man I had slept with came through that door.

“Yeah, she started last year!” Courtney’s voice started again. I blinked to clear my almost tunnel vision before I willed myself to focus on the conversation happening in front of me. Pat was chatting with the other two men who entered the facility with Logan, while he and Courtney were leaning on the front desk a few inches from me and staring at me.

I gave a wobbly smile to them both, inhaling a little more loudly than what was appropriate before I spoke, “Yup! I’ll be taking notes in the meeting.” I smiled, holding up my notebook again as if I needed to provide evidence for that statement.

Logan’s dark eyes glanced at the notebook and then back at me, before narrowing the slightest bit. He was suspicious. I didn’t blame him. Courtney signed something to Logan, making his brows lower as he took in her words.

The door chimed, and I felt my whole body stiffen.

“You guys beat me here, I see,” Daddy James’s voice sounded. Logan’s large body was blocking my view of the door, and I had accidentally locked eyes with him as I struggled to will my body to function normally. Logan’s lips pulled down, and his eyes took me in as he slid closer to me and mouthed the words, You, okay?

I nodded stiffly, giving him a tight smile as Pat started gesturing for everyone to follow her to the conference room.

I went out of my way to walk behind the group, ignoring the questioning glances that Logan was giving me.

Daddy James didn’t notice my presence until I had closed the conference room door, and he turned toward the sound. He didn’t even seem shocked to see me, his smile came a little too easily and quickly. He went out of his way to shake my hand specifically before I had a chance to escape to my chair opposite him at the table. I felt my stomach churn, my heart galloping in my chest as I had to deal with the fact that this man had seen me naked, and clearly wanted a repeat experience, if the way he let his eyes dance all over my body was any indication.

I let the duty of taking notes during the meeting become a hyper-fixation simply to get through this experience. I kept my eyes down as I wrote more detailed notes than I ever had for any meeting.

The gist of it was, Daddy James wanted Logan and a couple of other players from the Ducks to have an opportunity to sponsor events with the clinic. During the off-season was a good time to work on PR and social media, and Daddy James wanted to do something that meant a lot to him and his daughter.

I could feel his eyes on me throughout the entirety of the meeting, and it made me want to peel the skin off of my body.

It lasted about forty-five minutes before Pat called it, letting the guys know that we had other meetings to attend. We didn’t, but based on Pat’s response throughout the meeting I had a feeling she really wasn’t interested in whatever idea Daddy James had.

Thank fuck. I couldn’t deal with Daddy James coming back to my place of work regularly.

We all stood up, and Pat and I shook hands with all the men and gestured for them to leave the conference room first. Daddy James lingered when he took my hand one final time, his fingertips brushing against the palm of my hand in a way that made my skin crawl.

“I’ll see you around, Eloise,” he mumbled low enough for my ears only. I gave him a tight smile and fleeting glance before dropping my hand and clutching my notebook to my chest, clearly in a defensive posture.

I hated this.

I felt so gross whenever he looked at me.

Like he knew I wanted to forget about what we did, but he had no intention of letting me do so. Maybe I was just panicking. It wasn’t like he was maliciously seeking me out that much anymore. The last text he sent me had been months ago, this was just a horrible coincidence. Logan didn’t even know that Courtney and I would be there when he walked in.

Speaking of, in an attempt to keep myself from catching Daddy James’s eyes and unintentionally leading him on, I let my eyes land on the least threatening option in the room: Logan was already staring at me, a confused and concerned look on his face as he took me in. He had his hands in his pockets as he turned and left the conference room, Pat following closely behind him.

I exhaled a breath of relief and ended up shutting the door behind Pat, allowing myself some privacy as I worked on my breathing in the safety of isolation. I even sat back down in a chair and did some breathing exercises I had seen Beck and Courtney teach overwhelmed kids that they were working with here.

A soft knock sounded, and Courtney and Pat were back in the conference room with me.

“Are you alright?” Pat asked, concern etching her features as Courtney took the chair next to me and started rubbing my back.

“I’m fine,” I lied, “I just. I don’t feel comfortable around Da—I mean, Mr. James.” I realized during the meeting that I needed to tell Pat enough for her to know where I stood. Why I had acted so closed off and quiet instead of my usual friendly bubbly work persona.

“Oh,” Pat blinked, “Thank you for telling me…but, did something happen that I should know about?” She had pulled up a chair at the table as well. “I wasn’t super inclined to let him use the clinic as a publicity stunt for his athletes, but now that I know you aren’t comfortable working with him, I’ll definitely be emailing Connor to let him know that we aren’t interested.”

“Thank you.” I felt my lip wobble as a tear escaped my eye, relief washing over me at Pat’s words. I wouldn’t have to see him again here. I wouldn’t have to email or correspond with him, or anything like that.

“Lo,” Courtney’s calm voice made me look at her. “Did something happen?”

“What do you mean?” I asked, having a feeling, but feigning ignorance just in case.

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