Page 5 of Ask Me Something

“What time are you coming by tonight? Can’t wait to see you, I’ve missed you, lover.”

I felt the blood drain from my face. The pang of jealousy that hit me was so profound that I could hardly breathe, let alone speak. I handed his device back to him like it was suddenly offensive.

Looking at me strangely, he scanned the screen, reading the words.

I busied myself with taking a large gulp of wine and gave a strained smile toward Catherine, who appeared to be studying us both.

“So, Catherine, who is your favorite of the five guys we narrowed down?” I inquired, needing to change the subject.

Graciously, she took the hint. “Uh, I don’t remember what number he was, but he had dark hair, was tall, nice face.”

I nodded. “Oh, yeah, red shirt. He seemed nice.”

“Ladies, excuse me for a moment. I’m going to head to the restroom and will be right back,” Brian announced, walking toward the back of the restaurant.

I wondered if he had left to respond to Jamie.

“So what was with the text message?” Catherine queried.

I looked at her, surprise registering on my face.

She shrugged. “I heard it buzz and saw you read something. You went white, and then he blushed when he read it.”

I sighed. “It was something private that I had no business seeing on my boss’s phone.” Although I had no right to feel jealous, I couldn’t shake the thought.

She raised a brow. “Sasha, the chemistry between you and Brian is off the charts. And although I can appreciate you lying to be a good friend at the speed dating thing tonight, I’d like it if you trusted me in some aspects of our friendship.”

Smiling at being called out, I wasn’t sure I could put something into words that I didn’t understand myself. “It was a message from a woman obviously expecting him tonight. We’ve always been friends. I mean, we flirt and there’s always been an attraction, but timing and God—I’m rambling.” I rubbed my temples. My thoughts were all over the place. How could one text message have me completely reeling?

“So why haven’t you pursued it with him?”

Settling for the most convenient excuse was less than brave, but I wasn’t ready to verbalize the larger obstacles without delving into my history and subsequent baggage. “There are a number of reasons. The most obvious is that my career means a lot to me. What I’ve had to go through and the pressure, well I don’t need to tell you. I’m the first woman to ever make vice president at Gamble Advertising. There’s a big spotlight on my front and a target on my back. Sleeping with anyone could have professional ramifications. Now that he’s my boss, it would ensure that everyone would question how I got promoted, not to mention devalue my current position. You know what I’m talking about, Catherine. You’ve seen it happen, and so have I.” The thought of being judged like that in my career made me shiver with dread. My job was the only thing I could definitively say I’d ever been good at. And yet at the moment, it left me feeling empty.

“I get it, believe me. But considering how miserable you look right now, are you sure that’s still a good enough reason?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know. But even if I did, what if I’m too late? What if this Jamie person is someone significant in his life, and I missed my opportunity?”

Her eyes were sympathetic. “There’s only one way to find out. You have to ask the question.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready for the answer, Catherine. I’m so confused.” It was overwhelming to realize my feelings for Brian might be deeper than I’d ever acknowledged.

We both noticed him walking back to the table and slipped back into our earlier conversation.

My face managed a tight smile. Evidently my night of faking it wasn’t over yet.