Page 50 of Ask Me Something

“Yes, you do because you’ve had the wrong impression all this time. When I went up to my room that night, I had every intention of sleeping with you.” My stomach tensed with the memory and tried to keep the emotion out of my voice. “But my cell phone had died earlier, and when I charged it after getting to my room, I had several voice messages. They were all about my mother from the police and hospital.”

He looked shocked and then confused. “Something happened to your mom?”

“My birth mother,” I clarified. “She’d been beaten up and left for dead three days earlier outside of Raleigh, completely strung out on heroin. Evidently someone dug up my information.”

“That must’ve been a shock for you.”

Nodding, I recalled the full-blown panic attack into which the situation had sent me. “It was. Anyhow, long story short, they wanted to put her into a treatment facility. Rehab, if you will. They’d been trying to track me down for days, and I was told that if they didn’t get the money wired to them that night for her to enter this facility, then they’d have to release her back onto the street. The director of the center made it clear that she’d already been clean for three days. Time was of the essence to get her into that place.”

“That’s why you left, to wire the money?”

I nodded. “I had no clue that you might be in the lobby or how it might have appeared to you.” I was tempted to tell him about the anxiety attack, but admitting I’d been birthed by a junkie mother was enough vulnerability to expose for now.

He looked a little hurt, but being the type of guy he was, he put my feelings first. “Did you see her? I didn’t think you’d ever met her before.”

And now was the hard part. “I’d met her once a long time ago. It didn’t go well.” That was quite an understatement, but I didn’t have the emotional energy to air all of my baggage at the moment. “The facility doesn’t allow visitors until week four, but by the time I flew to Raleigh, she’d checked herself out. Ten thousand dollars for nothing, and she hadn’t bothered to stick around to see me.” My voice was small, and I rolled my neck. Recalling the mistake of being sucked into her life three years ago made me tense.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Sasha? You could have confided in me. You had three damn years and plenty of opportunity. Maybe it’s selfish to ask, but if that was the only reason you turned me down, why didn’t you make another attempt?” His eyes searched mine.

“I did try again, two weeks later.”

He shook his head. “I would have known had you attempted.”

“We were at Claudia from accounting’s wedding. Remember she invited the entire Charlotte office down in the Outer Banks at that hotel? I was supposed to have driven to my parents’ house that night. But after the reception, I went upstairs and knocked on your hotel room door instead.”

Confusion clouded his expression, and then it dawned on him. “Shit.”

I blew out a breath. “Yeah, the cute little blonde singer for the band opened the door. I pretended that I had the wrong room.”

“I had no clue.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, looking pained at the fact that I’d met his one-night stand.

“I know, and I told myself it was my fault for screwing up Miami and not telling you the truth.”

“Okay. But what about later on? It’s been three years.”

I realized I had a bevy of excuses that, when told separately, didn’t justify why I hadn’t. “I don’t know. Pick your reason: I got cold feet, fear of rejection, thoughts of you with the blonde two weeks later. I was ashamed of the fact that my real mom was a druggie and that I’d been duped into losing ten grand. Or maybe it’s the fact that you got promoted a couple months later.” I stopped and looked at him. “I know all of those excuses by themselves sound trite, but when I added them all together, I convinced myself that it wasn’t meant to be. That we were better off friends. Matter of fact, I thought you were kind of unaffected by the whole thing.” He’d moved on quickly to another woman and had appeared to slide right back into our friendship much easier than I’d managed to do.

“Of course, I didn’t seem to let it affect me. I had some pride. Rejection stung, but I knew we still had to work together.”

“I know. I had pride, too. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you the truth that night or later on.”

“I’m sorry, too, that I assumed something instead of asking.” He leaned in and captured my lips softly in a kiss.

Pausing, a smile teased his lips. “Timing hasn’t been very good to us, has it?”

“No, it hasn’t.” I reached up and cupped his face. “I agree to the rules, and although I was upset at the way you reacted tonight, I don’t regret what happened.”

He let out a breath. “Remember the part about being flexible because I was bound to mess something up at some point?”

“I do.” I smiled, once again thinking it ironic that he’d done so first.

“I’m really sorry. Do you think I could get a second chance?”

“Yes, but are you going to make us wait for it?”

He grinned wickedly. “Not with the way timing has fucked us before. Not a chance. But first I need to take a quick shower to get the ocean off of me.”

“You could use mine, and maybe I could join you,” I suggested.

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