Page 12 of Without Judgment

CHAPTER FIVE

Avery

I walked as fast as I could back to my room, leaving Mr. Hot and Judgy in the kitchen and shutting my bedroom door with relief. He’d talked about my minimal clothing as if I was trying to seduce him. That was laughable. I’d never seduced a man in my life.

Mason Butler, on the other hand, I sensed was a man who had experience with women. Hell, just by looking at him, I could tell he’d know what he was doing in bed. He was sex on an angry stick.

But it was clear he could barely stand me. And he wasn’t happy about being here. Yeah, well, that made two of us. I didn’t like the way he could rile me up so easily. Or the fact he acted completely judgmental of me simply because I wore pajamas when I’d thought I was alone.

For the first time since the cheating and breakup, I started to feel sorry for myself. Especially that my father had told Mason about being out of town before he’d even bothered to tell me. Also, I was upset he’d cancelled my events with both the children’s hospital and women’s shelter. I’d been looking forward to both of the charity appearances as I had a passion for giving back. Of course, I understood the why of the cancellation as I didn’t want my scandal to touch either of those places. But I still hadn’t figured out the how, as in how in the hell had I ended up in this mess? I was having a pity party with cold pasta and a soda. Could I be any more pathetic? Yeah, probably. After all, I could’ve been eating it with my hands. Ugh.

In the course of the last four months, I’d lost my fiancé and best friend when I’d found them fucking on Edward’s sofa. And today at lunch I had two other friends suggesting I live my life like a Kardashian. It all made me question my inner circle, and what I actually looked for in a friend. I’d been thinking about my life all day. However, I didn’t like what self-introspection was telling me: that I hadn’t made good decisions regarding the people with whom I’d surrounded myself.

I was tempted to call my big brother, Trevor, for a pick-me-up—at least he was good people. But I’d already talked to him earlier when he’d called to check in, and I didn’t want to burden him with my self-pity. This was a big week for him. He’d always dreamed of getting into real estate, and now he was breaking ground on his first building in Dallas. Plus, he was focused on his new relationship with Emma.

The way the two of them behaved as a couple made me wonder if I’d ever had the real thing with Edward. Perhaps I’d had a teenager’s version of love instead. My brother had once wondered if I’d been using my relationship with Edward to try filling the void left after mom died. Maybe he’d been right. I’d been anxious to have a home of my own where I could cook the sort of holiday dinners I remembered as a kid. Host my family as my mother had once done. Have kids to pass on traditions and fill the house with joy again.

But instead, I’d failed. Made the wrong choices and trusted the wrong people. But most importantly, I’d lost my own purpose in life. My own identity. Not for the first time, I wondered how very different life would’ve been if I still had my mother with me. Giving me advice. Hugging me close. But instead, the anniversary of her death was only days away. I lay in my bed with tears in my eyes about having spent yet another year without her.

The next morning, I found Mason at the kitchen table, again on his laptop. It was tempting to ask him what he was doing but stopped myself. He’d been very clear about not wanting to be friendly, and I sure as hell wasn’t making the first move to change that. The fact he was dressed in his uniform of a black business suit made it clear he was on duty.

He glanced up as I made myself coffee in the Keurig machine. I was dressed in khaki shorts and a navy tank with my hair pulled back. I was both comfortable and casual for what I had on tap for today.

Smiling at what I was about to do, I pulled out my phone. I knew this would annoy him, but well, I couldn’t help myself. So I composed a text message informing him I needed to leave in thirty minutes for my appointment. I had to turn around to hide my grin when I heard his phone buzz on the table.

“Is this how we’re communicating now, princess?” he asked on a sigh.

I turned around and leaned against the cabinet. “Considering you keep calling me princess after I asked you not to and can’t seem to say anything unless it’s condescending, I think it may be the safest way. Plus, I wouldn’t want any perceptions of impropriety if we start speaking nicely to one another.”

He simply held my gaze, his expression giving nothing away as to what he was thinking. “I’d like your schedule for the day on the prior night. That’s all I’m asking for.”

“Fine. I’ll work on it.” I busied myself fixing cereal, refusing to feel awkward in my own home. I even took a seat at the kitchen table across from him to eat it. He quickly became engrossed again with his computer.

A minute later, a soft curse caught my attention. I looked up to see him run a hand over his face in frustration.

I ignored him, taking a little joy in the fact he was annoyed. Childish, yes, but he hadn’t exactly inspired me to feel bad for him.

The second curse along with a ‘come on’ towards his screen made me ask, “What’s wrong?”

His eyes met mine. I could have sworn he was about to tell me to mind my own business. But he surprised me. “I’m trying to design my company’s website, but it’s not going as planned.”

“Do you want me to take a look?”

He raised a brow, and I braced myself for a snide comment.

“You know websites?”

“Yeah. Some. I was a communications major, so we spent time on web design.” The stuff we’d learned was basic, but I was fairly good with a computer.

He slid his laptop over to me.

I was tempted to say something snarky like ‘where is the please’ but knew it would do nothing to mend our differences if I continued to take potshots. In fact, by doing this for him, perhaps I could prove I wasn’t some empty-headed blonde.

Luckily, he was using a fairly standard template design. But his logo was uninspired at best. It was simply the company name, “Lima Company Security.”

“Is Lima Company from the military?”

“Yes.”