Page 92 of Without Judgment

Trevor was well aware of my feelings toward my father. Hell, while in college, we’d both had issues with our fathers. It was probably what had made us become friends. But Trevor seemed to have been able to move beyond his strained relationship with his dad. Now it was time for me to move past mine.

“That’s good. It’s been a number of years, right?”

“Yeah.” It dawned on me I would have loved to have Avery come with me. She was so comfortable with people and always knew how to say the right thing. But I’d lost the privilege of asking for her help by treating her the way I had. I had to conquer my problem solo.

“How’s business?”

“Good.” I’d thrown myself into it the last couple weeks, hoping the occupation would help me not miss Avery, but it hadn’t done the trick. If anything, I’d realized how empty my life had become with only work taking up my time.

“My dad told me you decided against taking the investment money?”

“I decided to do it on my own. It’ll be slower, but I’ll get there. Plus, he paid me very well for the two weeks.” Bottom line was it hadn’t felt right to take money from Mr. Newhall beyond what he owed me for the hours I’d spent on his job. It would mean working harder, but at least I could do it with less guilt. Ironic that the money—and the favor I owed Trevor—had been the initial motivator. In the end, I’d do it all over again for her. And only for her.

“He should’ve paid well, considering the amount of time you spent. I owe you.”

“No. You don’t. So business is good with you?” What I really wanted to ask was how Avery was doing with her class. Where she’d moved to. Was she sad? Did she miss me a fraction as much as I missed her?

“Yes, it is. Going into business with Simon was the very best decision. I’m coming to Austin in two weeks with Emma to visit my sister. Do you think you’ll be back from Arizona by then?”

My heart started beating faster. It could be a good way to test the waters and see if Avery was okay with seeing me. As much as it was tempting to show up and surprise her, I doubted an ambush would be appreciated. But at least by then, I would have seen my father. “Yes. I’ll be here. Just let me know your plans.”

“Sounds good. Everything else okay with you? You sound off. Is it the visit with your father you’re dreading?”

Only he would notice. Although I’d call Trevor one of my closest friends, I’d managed to keep even him at arm’s length. “A bit. Can I ask you a question about relationships without it sounding weird?”

“Of course.”

I felt a sliver of guilt about asking my best friend for advice when it had to do with his sister, but it wasn’t as if I had a lot of other sources I could ask. Especially one with a relationship that seemed to be going well.

“How were you sure you wanted a relationship with Emma? I mean, how did you know she was the one?”

“I knew when I couldn’t picture my future without her in it. I’m crazy about her. Once I met her, it was as if every other girl in the world blurred for me. Of course, she took some convincing in the beginning.”

I remembered him saying Emma had been skittish about relationships. “How did you convince her?” At one time, this might have been a question more applicable to me, but at this point, it applied just as much to Avery. I had my doubts she would give me another chance.

“I refused to give up. I just took baby steps. Even when she was pushing me away, I told her I loved her. If I’d thought for a moment she didn’t love me, then it wouldn’t have worked. But I knew the reasons she was pushing me away weren’t about me. It was out of fear. If that makes sense.”

More than he could ever know.

“Did you meet someone?”

“I’m not sure yet. It’s early, and I may have already screwed it up. I don’t think I’d be very good at being a boyfriend.”

“You may be onto something there. Not that I have it all figured out—because a relationship is a living, breathing thing—but admitting you won’t always get it right is the key. It’s not about perfection; it’s about laughter, being flexible, and—this may sound corny—but peace. I feel like I can conquer anything with her by my side.”

Peace. What I’d felt with Avery up at the cabin. When I’d met Mick’s family. The night in the shower. “It doesn’t sound corny. Thanks for the advice. Let me know what nights you’ll be in Austin. I’ll make myself available.”

Now, I just needed a plan. A plan to make things right with her. A plan to inspire something better than ‘fine,’ for once. And a hope that once she heard I was coming, she wouldn’t refuse to see me.

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