Page 76 of Without Regret

“Although I appreciate you putting the arsehole in his place, if you’re about to tell me to stop seeing Trevor, the answer is no.”

He raised his brow. “He means something to you?”

I sighed. “Yes, but don’t ask me to lay out my feelings as I haven’t quite figured them out myself yet.”

The look of shock on his face was something I didn’t see very often. “I suppose I’m surprised given he’s a suit.”

My lips twitched. “You’d be surprised to hear he ticks off more boxes then you’d think.”

He chuckled. “I guess I walked into that one and now know what I can’t unknow. There is a small part of me wanting to enjoy your misery over what I’m sure is a very confusing time for you. But the bigger part of me is simply happy for you.”

I knew Simon was the one person I could undoubtedly trust with anything. “I don’t know what I’m doing in a relationship. We went from something temporary to playing it by ear to whatever it is now.”

“Have you talked to him about that?”

“He’s aware relationships aren’t easy for me but doesn’t quite get why.”

“Emma, I think of you like a sister, so with that comes unsolicited advice. I’m telling you Trevor is a good man. Talk to him. I think he’ll understand why you have a challenge with trusting people once you explain why.”

I leaned forward. “What makes you say that?”

“He’s an honorable guy whose word still seems to mean something.”

Yes, he was. But despite that, trust wasn’t easy. As if sensing my thoughts, Simon spoke again.

“What’s the worst that can happen if you tell him how you grew up?” His tone turned softer as he brought up a subject we hadn’t discussed in many years.

“It’s not just that.” I had things I’d done I wasn’t proud of. Secrets I wasn’t sure I could share with him without him changing his view of me.

“After I told Peyton about my past, it took a load off my mind. Food for thought.”

I took a deep breath, wondering if I’d feel the same. If I could possibly put myself out there for rejection if Trevor knew all of it. I swallowed hard. “There are some things I’ve done I’m not proud of. Mistakes.” Even Simon wasn’t privy to all of them.

“Are they pertinent to the future? That’s what I think you need to ask yourself. The point in telling Trevor isn’t for him to judge; it’s so he’s aware what may be holding you back. If it won’t make you feel better in admitting things from your past, and they won’t impact your future by leaving them there, then my advice is you keep it to yourself.”

Made sense. Yet there was one thing I wavered on. At least I wavered until Simon’s next words cemented that I absolutely needed to keep it to myself.

“Something to keep in mind is you two have to continue to work together, too. Making sure your relationship and any discord doesn’t come in here on a daily basis has to be a priority.”

He was right. The last thing I could do was jeopardize our working relationship. Not only with each other, but with the entire team.

“And what about Tom?” He was bound to push the issue and might tell Phillip.

“If it wasn’t clear before that this is none of his business, then I’d say we have another talk coming. Six months ago, I might have said a possible relationship wouldn’t be worth the risk.”

I smiled. “But now?”

“Now, I have absolutely no regrets.”

***

Although there were several things about which I needed to be honest with Trevor, it was the story of my childhood with which I’d start. That was the reason I had a hard time trusting. Had a hard time letting someone get close. And an even tougher time leaving myself vulnerable for rejection.

I took stock of my feelings by way of a bath later that night after work, a glass of wine going down easily after a long day. Reflection and contemplation were heavy in the air when the knock came. I heard the door open and shut and then footsteps approach.

“Emma?”

Once his Texan drawl called my name, I knew. I knew absolutely without a doubt I wanted more with this man.

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