Page 39 of Without Regret

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Emma

One moment I was sound asleep. The next, suddenly, I was abruptly awakened by something wet and warm in my face. I opened my eyes in time to see my next assault by the giant dog tongue of an exuberant mastiff.

“God, Rufus. Bloody stop. So gross.” I wiped my hands over my face, groaning at the slimy kiss he’d given me but smiling anyway because of his dopey face and excitability. It was morning, and Rufus clearly needed out.

Trevor’s laughter filled the room as he quickly got out of bed. “Come on, big guy. I’ll let you out. Sorry, Em. He doesn’t have very good manners when it comes to bed guests.”

I frowned at the reference that I wasn’t the only one he’d done this with.

As if Trevor had read my mind, he paused while slipping on athletic pants and a T-shirt in order to lean over and plant a kiss on my cheek. “I meant he hasn’t dealt with anyone staying over in my bed before.”

Oh. I watched him whisk Rufus outside before realizing it was indeed morning. Shit. How had this happened a second time? I hadn’t meant to spend the night, but then we’d gotten busy, and I’d lost all cognitive ability. The man had stamina in spades. But I’d broken my rules with him by staying the night.

I searched quickly for my clothing and was almost fully dressed when he walked back in through the door.

“It’s only five am,” he offered up.

I finished slipping on my shoes and glanced up to see him leaning against the wall of the bedroom watching me. “I need to, um, shower and get to the gym and stuff.” It was lame, but I was starting to panic.

“Okay. Sorry for the rude awakening. I would’ve preferred a better way of starting the morning.”

My heart started to beat faster at the thought. He’d made me insatiable. Giving Rufus a pat, I scooted past the both of them but then stopped with a thought. “Today at the office, it won’t be weird, right?”

“I don’t see why it would be.”

I swallowed hard. The multitude of times he’d made me come over the last two days constituted plenty of reasons it could be, but I decided to hope for the best.

***

The gym didn’t happen. Probably because I’d already received a hell of a workout, leaving me sore in places the gym’s body pump class didn’t target. Plus, I’d only gotten a couple hours of sleep. Not that I was complaining.

Not for the first time, I wondered if Trevor was always this alpha in the bedroom or if he was accommodating what he thought I needed. Considering how natural it had felt to be with him, I assumed the first. Just went to show never to judge a book by its cover.

What had thrown me the most was how much I’d been turned on by his actions. Beautiful, honey, sugar. How had he managed to make flowery words conjure up dirty highlight reels? Surprisingly, his compliments had turned me on in a way with which I wasn’t familiar.

Yes, I had issues. I’m sure a therapist would have a field day examining why I enjoyed one-night stands who wanted it quick and dirty and who typically degraded me with names like slut or whore. Self-deprecation at its finest. The whole thing propelled me into an emotional tailspin that could last for weeks.

Over the years, I’d never let on anything about this to Simon or anyone else. My preferences were probably why I could only manage a couple sexual encounters a year. Wanting the high, but knowing the low was right behind it. The main thing was it kept me safe from relationship land. There were no expectations I might become attached, or get set up for the rejection which would inevitably come if I had. I’d fallen into this pattern because it reemphasized my misgivings about relationships. If I could feel that horrible after one night, then why the hell would I want more?

But with Trevor, it had been different. He’d been able to get me off physically without having to resort to those types of things. Nor had he pushed me away in horror when I’d confided my dirty secret to him about desiring them. Instead, he’d turned my debasing demands on their head and left me wanting more of his way.

This meant I was in unfamiliar territory. It left me both unsettled and unexpectedly high. Remarkably, that high wasn’t abating. It was the strangest thing. Of course, I had reservations, considering he was someone I worked with, but I experienced no self-loathing or any hit to my self-esteem regarding what had happened with him.

Luckily, Simon was in his office on a call when the object of my thoughts walked through the main office doors. God, he looked good in his suit. Initially, I might have thought he was not my type, but now that I had intimate knowledge of the body beneath that suit, I was hard pressed to continue thinking that.

“Good morning, Emma.”

My heart pounded in my chest merely from the sound of his voice saying my name. “Good morning.”

“How was your night? Any jet lag?”

I had to keep myself from smiling. Anyone overhearing would think it was a simple conversation, but I could see the twinkle in his eye. “My evening was good. And jet lag isn’t the reason I’m tired.”

Jesus. I would’ve pounced all over him for an innuendo like that in the office, but then I went and made one myself. What in the hell was happening to me? I wasn’t this girl who mixed business and pleasure.

He lifted a brow, about to respond, when Simon came out from his office.

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