Page 91 of Without Regret

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Emma

While I did adore Rufus, I was completely gone for the man in front of me. Head over heels in love with Trevor.

Over the last few months, we’d settled into a routine in Dallas. I never thought I’d see the day I’d proudly call myself a Texan, but now I certainly did. A Texan, however, without any opinions about American football teams, politics, or who said words like ‘y’all’ or ‘yonder.’ I had adopted a few ‘bless her heart’s, however, because sarcasm was something I could definitely get behind.

I’d been nervous about the upcoming holidays, but after spending the American Thanksgiving with Peyton’s family, I was less anxious about what Christmas would hold. For the first time ever, I’d even shopped for gifts.

Walking into Trevor’s childhood home, though, I felt gobsmacked with the way Christmas seemed to have thrown up on every surface. Every bannister was adorned with greenery, the massive fireplace boasted stockings and Santas. But the centerpiece was the largest Christmas tree I’d ever seen. Towering up to the ceiling, it had to be sixteen feet tall. I walked up to touch a branch, breathing in the fresh scent of pine.

“It’s real. My sister dragged me out two days ago to pick it out, but thankfully, they delivered it.”

“It’s magical.” Like out of a childhood dream, it was beautifully decorated with white twinkling lights and silver ribbon.

“Come on.” He took my hand, leading me out back to the pool. There were at least a dozen other trees all around it, lit up with colored lights.

“Wow.”

“It’s been ten years since all of these decorations have been out. I’d forgotten how much I love it. How nostalgic it makes me to have all of my mom’s things out for the holidays.”

I hugged him tight, knowing how much he missed his mum. “Where are we staying?”

“Pool house. It not only brings back memories, but we can also be as loud as we want. Plus, as previously discussed regarding pooparoomba, Rufus is banned from the main house.”

I giggled with the reference to that particular story. Truth be told, I was happy to be private in the pool house with him.

We had Christmas Eve dinner that night with Trevor’s father, Avery, and her new boyfriend, someone I really liked. Frankly, it was nice to have someone even newer than I was at the table. It took some of the pressure off the family dinner. Afterwards, we went to the theatre room and watched a movie and then retired for the night. Not that we did much sleeping. After all, I’d brought my Mrs. Claus lingerie to show Trevor.

Waking up in the early morning, I stretched in the bed. When I rolled over to reach for Trevor, I found his side of the bed cold. Huh. Opening up my eyes, I glanced around the bedroom but didn’t see him. Maybe he was out walking Rufus. Donning my robe, I puttered out to the living room. I was happy we had our privacy but didn’t want to take a chance by walking around naked.

A beautifully decorated Christmas tree stood in the corner of the room, with dozens of gorgeously wrapped gifts beneath it. This definitely hadn’t been here last night.

Trevor walked in from outside with Rufus and looked surprised to see me up.

“Merry Christmas, Em.”

I smiled, crossing over to hug him. “Merry Christmas. What is all this?”

“Our first Christmas together.”

“In here, not the main house?”

He shrugged out of his jacket. “I figured we’d do our gift exchange here before everyone is up.”

“But all the gifts under the tree aren’t just for us, right?” I’d only bought two for Trevor, and they were still in my suitcase.

“They’re for you. Twenty-seven of them, to be exact. One for every Christmas you missed.”

I couldn’t speak for a moment, overwhelmed with emotion.

“Sugar, say something.” His stare was fixed on me, watching for my reaction.

“I just—Nobody has ever—I never had—” I couldn’t complete a sentence. And then, much to my dismay, and probably to Trevor’s, I burst into tears. I let him hold me while I sobbed quietly into his chest.

Sometimes I still struggled with allowing myself to be loved. But over time, I’d started to believe I deserved it. And when self-doubt crept in, Trevor understood and never wavered in his love for me.

Finally, after I let out the last of the tears, he led me over to the sofa where he put me on his lap. “I’m sorry. I had thought—”

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