Page 24 of Without Regret

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Emma

What the ever-loving fuck had I been I thinking? This thought slammed into me as I pulled into the car park in front of the housing complex.

Rufus weighed more than me and slobbered horribly. I had nothing personal against the big oaf, but now Trevor probably thought I was like the coeds his sister said fell all over themselves for him. They’d probably pick up Rufus’s shit with a smile.

Damn. I hadn’t thought about that. What if the dog pooped? I always saw people with those tiny little bags in a thing clipped to the leash. That certainly wasn’t going to work for a dog this size. I’d need an entire bin bag.

I let myself into Trevor’s flat on the third floor. It was an exact replica of mine, with the exception of an extra bedroom. I was immediately greeted by Rufus at the front door.

“Hey, big guy. Simmer down, and I’ll let you out. Sit.” I said the last word in an authoritative voice which seemed to do the trick.

“Good boy.” I probably should’ve changed my clothes before coming over, but I had a long rain jacket on, the snaps of which I did up to save my dress just in case. A nearby towel appeared to be his. I grabbed it and did a good wipe down of his face so we wouldn’t have another drool incident. I was thankful to see his leash by the door. Next to it were grocery bags which I assumed were for pickup duty.

After taking one of those, putting it in my pocket and clipping the leash to his collar, I led him down the stairs to the grassy area in back. Huh. It was a bit like walking furniture. The dog moseyed. I could do mosey.

I found myself relaxing with each step as I took him further out into the field. Rufus peed and then sniffed around. But as I was about to lead him back inside, he perked up and stared off into the distance. Too late, I realized there were three deer about fifty meters away. Before I knew it, he launched himself towards them. The leash nearly took my arm off its socket before I landed on the ground with an oomph and let go. It was that or get dragged behind as he ran.

I grimaced at the fact I’d likely ruined both rain jacket and dress. Bloody dog. But that annoyance had nothing on the fear suddenly welling up. I now realized that on the other side of the field was a busy motorway. A nightmare flashed in my mind of Rufus getting hit by a car. And me having to tell Trevor. It would be all my fault. Oh, God.

Discarding my heels, I took off in a dead run, screaming after him like a madwoman. Thankfully, he either realized they were too fast once they’d bolted, or he ran out of breath. In any case, he abandoned the chase. I caught up and grabbed his leash, taking deep gulps of air. My lungs were burning and my adrenaline spiking.

That wasn’t all. I was covered in mud, and so was he, having found himself a particularly mucky place to lie down. But he was safe. And I was completely, irrationally emotional over it. I bent at the waist, trying to recover, feeling tears run down my stupid face. “You scared me, you big, silly dog.”

There was no actual heat to my words. Finally, after I’d taken a few deep breaths, we made the slow trek back to where I’d ditched my shoes. I picked them up, hoping they weren’t also ruined. Then I took him over to the outside steps, where I sat trying to get my heart rate and emotions under control. I must’ve sat there a while, with Rufus finally lying down beside me, before I heard Trevor’s voice.

“Emma. What’s going on? Are you okay?”

His suited figure loomed in front of me.

I wiped my eyes and forced myself to my feet. I was already experiencing some stiffness over the fall I’d taken. But at least I thought I had control over my mini-breakdown until the moment he stepped forward, cupped my chin, and looked deep in my eyes. A tear slipped.

“We’re fine now. But Rufus. He spotted some deer and took off.”

Trevor’s eyes went wide, his expression etched in worry. “Oh, fuck. I’m so sorry.”

He took the leash from my hand while I couldn’t seem to stop the stupid floodgates. “It’s fine. But I need to go inside.”

His gaze scanned down to my scraped knees and mud-encased dress/jacket combination. “Wait. You’re hurt. Let me help.”

I shook my head, not wanting him to see me like this. Not wanting to be so upset over a tragedy that hadn’t even happened.

“Talk to me, sweetheart.”

“It’s okay. He’s fine. I just—”

“You just what?”

“I saw the motorway, and I took off in a run. I kept thinking about what would happen if he didn’t stop. If he’d gotten hit by a car, and you lost him. I know how much you love him, and if he’d died because it was my fault—” My voice broke on the last word.

He pulled me into a comforting embrace, something into which I found myself sinking. “Hey, hey. It didn’t happen. Okay? And if it had, it wouldn’t have been your fault. I’m only sorry I put you in this position. I don’t believe he’s seen a deer before. I’ve certainly never seen him take off.” He pulled away and offered his arm. “Let’s get you upstairs.”

I fought a yawn, suddenly exhausted by the entire ordeal. I didn’t like that he was seeing this vulnerable side of me, but my self-defense mechanism had completely shut down. “I’m all muddy. And now you’re all muddy, too.”

His suit had to have cost a fortune, and now he had splatters on it from hugging me.

“I couldn’t care less about a little dirt. Come on.”

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