Page 77 of A Virgin for the Duke of Thorns

“I just wish I could have done more for Papa,” she told them regretfully. “He has been looking forward to my marriage, and now I fear I must let him down once more.”

She hung her head, her shoulders drooping as she considered the impact her breaking off the betrothal would have on her papa. She smiled self-mockingly when she recalled how she had entered into the agreement with Colin—no, the Duke of Blackthorn—thinking to buy herself time from her papa’s planned engagement.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to find her younger sister smiling at her in reassurance.

“You need not worry overmuch about Mama and Papa,” Phoebe told her softly. “Above all, they love you dearly. They will understand. Papa is not one who will sacrifice your lifelong happiness for anything.”

“Thank you, Phoebe. That… that means a lot to me,” Alice said hoarsely, managing a teary smile for her sister.

She had been so impulsive, then, and so worryingly naive. Her father had only wanted to secure her future before his health ultimately failed and some distant cousin swooped in to inherit his title and estates. She should have known better.

It was truly funny how things looked clearer in retrospect, but she could no longer find the humor to laugh along.

* * *

If there is a hell, then I am certainly in it.

Colin squinted—no, glowered—against the fierce morning sunlight that spilled through the windows of his study. It was the last day of the house party, and tomorrow morning, their guests would be leaving for London.

“Good riddance,” he muttered to himself, although when he thought of a certain young lady with deep brown hair and wide green eyes framed with thick lashes, he felt a hollowness within him that not even a sleepless night and copious amounts of liquor could vanquish.

Alice Barkley was everything he ever wanted—and more. She had roused in him what he had long thought was dead, what he had long thought he had destroyed. Now, he had to set her free before he truly and thoroughly pulled her with him into his darkness and destroyed her.

Suddenly, the door to his study swung open, and he turned around to find Ethan, Daniel, and Hudson filing in. Ethan, especially, looked as if he was looking forward to seeing the miserable state Colin had sunk into. Hudson just watched him coldly with a knowing look in his dark eyes, his lips pressed into a grim line.

“We thought we might find you here.” Ethan grinned affably. “After all, where else should you be on this fine, sunny day?”

“Far from all human interaction, but now I can see that is impossible.”

A smile flashed across Daniel’s normally composed features. “Glad to see that you still regard us as humans, Thorn.”

Colin winced at the old nickname they had for him. A long time ago, he had worn it like a badge, back when he was a foolish youth. The years had taught him better, and that boy who slept his way across the brothels of Europe on his Grand Tour was nowhere to be found. In his place stood the hollowed-out skeleton of the young man he had once been.

After last night, it seemed that he had aged a decade. Colin would find it a boon if it took half of his lifespan with it, as he had no intention of living to a ripe, old age with the burden he now carried.

“The darling Dowager Countess has arranged for an archery contest this afternoon amongst the young ladies,” Ethan announced. “Since you have announced that you will not be participating, and with Lady Alice moping around like a forlorn little thing, tongues will start to wag.”

Hudson snorted as he folded his arms across his chest. “After your fine display of temper last night and your absence at the breakfast hall this morning, it would be unbelievable if they had not started wagging already.”

Colin shrugged his shoulders in a show of nonchalance, forcing himself to turn away from the window and the sight of a certain young lady promenading in the gardens below.

“It was just a night,” he muttered. “I do not see why you should all make such a big deal out of it.”

“Who says we are here to make a big deal out of it?” Daniel grinned and held up a bottle of brandy. “We, of course, came here to offer our support.”

“Well, I have no need of it.”

“We shall drink to it, then!” Ethan happily declared, bringing out four glasses. “After last night, you should be a free man once more!”

The words stung, but Colin smiled as he accepted a glass from his friend, briefly admiring the deep amber liquid in it. If he spilled it on his bed, he wondered if it would look the same as Alice’s locks spread across his pillow. Even now, the mere recollection of it sent a bolt of lust through him.

Cursing himself, he tipped his head back and downed the whole glass. Perhaps there would never be another woman who would affect him the way she did. Deep down, he knew that there would never be another one like her.

She would be the only one, and he was doing her a great service by letting her go. She might hate him for it, but she would realize, sooner or later, that this was for the best.

He would never make a good husband—not the kind she deserved in any case.

“Hey!” Ethan protested. “Were we not supposed to toast or something?”

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