Page 39 of Billionaire Daddies Next Door

I leaned forward so I could see my mouth better in my bathroom mirror as I applied a layer of red lipstick. “You still got your muffins, did you not?”

“That’s not the point. I went out of my way to call you so you have to tell me what’s going on.”

“I don’t want to.” I groaned and grabbed a sheet of toilet paper to wipe my lips. “What’s the secret to wearing red lipstick? I never perfected it.”

“Red lipstick?” Billie screamed. “What are you doing?!”

“I’m losing my mind, that’s what I’m doing.” I turned away from my reflection and pulled myself up to sit on the counter. “Billie, I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Okay… Try to break this down for me. I’m assuming it’s about the red headed daddy and his two sexy friends. I’ve never seen anything else get a big reaction out of you.” Clicking her tongue, she continued. “You’re putting on red lipstick and panic running out of the diner. I don’t know how to connect those dots.”

Sighing, I leaned back against the mirror. “I had a heart-to-heart with Bear this morning and then all three of them showed up to ask me out on a date. My stupid mouth moved before I could stop it and I said yes! They’re coming here in just a couple of hours to pick me up, Billie. I’m freaking out because what the hell was I thinking? Going on a date with three men? Putting myself out there for the three of them? I hate myself right now.”

“Wow. That’s dramatic, Joanie. You’re freaking out over nothing. You like them, obviously. You even like Chase, despite how hard you fight to make him think you don’t. Why not go out with them?” Billie grunted. “I mean, you’re already sleeping with them. What’s the big deal about a date?”

“Sleeping with them was just… I don’t know. It just happened. Agreeing to go out with them is purposeful. I’m in my bathroom, hyperventilating about what lipstick to wear tonight, Billie. That’s not casual.” I let my head fall back to thump against the mirror and blew out a big breath. “I said something to Bear this morning.”

She hesitated but when I didn’t say anything else right away, she pushed. “Tell me!”

“I admitted I’m scared of letting them get too close. I basically told him I was afraid of getting used to them being in my life because if they left, it would be crushing.” Licking my dry lips, I realized my mouth was bone dry and stood up to get some water.

“Wow.” Billie whistled. “That was big for you. That was super close to confessing your feelings for them. Did you burst into flames?”

I growled. “Billie! No more muffins for you!”

“I’m kidding! I think it’s a good thing. I also think it’s a sign of how much you really do like them. They seem to like you that much, too, J. Why not try?” She nervously cleared her throat. “Please don’t cut me off. Without your muffins, I don’t think I’d survive.”

“I’ll think about it. Don’t push your luck, though.”

“Can I just say one more thing?”

I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and looked out the kitchen window while I drank from it. “Fine.”

“You see how happy Violet is now. Everyone does. She’s in heaven, J. You deserve that, too. We both do. My time will come eventually, but what if this is your time? There are three men who can’t get enough of you and who are telling you they want more. Why would you chance missing out on what V has?” Billie’s voice went somber as she spoke and I could hear the yearning in it. “The world can be so hard. You don’t need to add to it, Joanie. Let yourself be happy.”

From across the way I watched Bear loading Maggie and Macey into his truck. He glanced over at my house before climbing in and driving off. “I don’t even know what it means to be happy with another person anymore.”

“You’ll figure it out. Go out on your date and have fun, Joanie. For once, play nice. See where it goes.” She giggled. “Maybe you’ll end the night pinned between three of the hottest men I’ve ever seen.”

“Fine.” I said the word quietly as I turned from the window. “Fine.”

“There you go!” Billie groaned. “Now that I’ve encouraged you to go get nailed tonight and maybe fall in love, I’ll just tuck myself into bed early and watch another couple of Hallmark movies. It’s great to be single and lonely.”

“You could come over and—”

“You just agreed to give your date a shot!”

I stomped my foot and groaned louder than she had. “Fine! I’ll do it. I’ll slap a smile on my face and be the best date I can be!”

“Make sure you do an everything shower. When’s the last time you shaved?”

“I don’t want to talk about it. I’m hanging up now. I need to shower and shave, apparently.” I realized what I’d said and frowned. “I mean, I was going to do both anyway. I wasn’t trying to sabotage myself that hard.”

“Sure, scaredy cat. Now go wash your ass.” Billie hung up with a laugh and left me glaring at the phone, as if she’d see it.

Putting the phone down, I ran my hands through my hair and tried to let go of my fears. I could go out and have a good time without being a sassy asshole to Chase. I could have fun without being anxious about it. I was fine and there was no need to panic.

Before I’d even made it to the shower, I was already back to freaking out. It was easier said than done to relax when I felt like I was on the verge of winning and losing the lottery.

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