Page 37 of Billionaire Daddies Next Door

“Have you ever woken up between two men?” Joanie looked out at the road and then over at me. “Well, I did. I woke up between Smith and Chase this morning, cuddling like we were all a big, happy family.”

“And…you didn’t like that?” I was going to murder my best friends. I was so fucking jealous I couldn’t sit with it. I had to shift in my seat as the discomfort grew.

“It was great. I’ve never been so cozy in my life.”

I frowned. “Okay?”

“It’s like those people who win the lottery, right?” She was in fine form that morning, talking with her hands and really expressing herself. “They don’t know what they’re really missing before they win a million dollars. They might have an idea, but not really. Then, they have a million dollars and it’s amazing. That freedom is great. The money never lasts, though. They lose the money and they’re worse off than before they won it because now they really know what they’re missing out on.”

I glanced over at her. “You think spooning with my idiot best friends is like winning the lottery?”

Her cheeks reddened. “No. I mean… Waking up between two men who didn’t try to hump you during the night and instead just held you? It’s not not the lottery.”

“And you’re afraid of not having that again?” I felt like I was catching on but I’d never seen Joanie speak so positively, so I wasn’t exactly sure what was happening. It honestly felt a little like a trap.

“I’ve been alone for over five years, Bear. No one has slept in that bed but me until recently and it’s scary to chance becoming unhappy with that fact. What if all that testosterone in my bed messes with my brain chemistry and suddenly I’m not happy by myself? I can’t take that chance.”

“You’re scared to like us?”

“What? No. I didn’t say that.” She rubbed her hands over her face and turned to face me completely. “I’m just having a morning of panic. It’s fine. It doesn’t mean anything.”

I pulled to a stop and looked over at her. “I have those. They don’t typically just last the morning, though.”

“How long do they last?”

“Six years?” I laughed at the shocked expression on her face. “This brings me back to apologizing for last night. I’m sorry the girls showed up and tried to move in with you. Thank you for being there, though. I don’t know what I would’ve done if it wasn’t you who took them in.”

“They said they ran away because you yelled at them.” The stern look on her face shouldn’t have been so sexy, but it was. She was worried for my girls.

I put the truck in park and sighed. “I did. It was shitty of me to lose my temper and I’ve already apologized to them. We go through this every so often… Their mom died before they were two. They see their friends with their moms and they decide they need to push me to find them a mom, too. Right now, they’re doing day camp with Forrest, who I think is your friend’s son, right? Seeing Forrest with his mom has triggered a new wave of mom demands.”

What I didn’t tell her was that the girls were demanding her. They’d pushed and pushed so much the night before that I’d finally snapped and yelled at them to stop. It wasn’t my finest moment.

“Were you together with their mom when she passed?” Joanie clamped her hands between her thighs and looked like she had a million more questions battling to get out.

I nodded. “Yeah. Michelle and I were married for five years when she died in a crash.”

“Bear… I’m so sorry.” She reached over and squeezed my forearm. “You’ve been alone since?”

I cleared my throat. “Not alone. I have Mabelle. I have Smith and Chase. They’ve been there through it all. The girls want what their friends have, though. It’s hitting them harder than ever right now.”

“And…you’re not open to the idea of moving on I’m guessing.” She looked away. “Which makes sense. I lost my dignity and went off the deep end. You lost your wife.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. It would’ve been easier for me if she didn’t get it. Of course, she did, though, and that just made my attraction for her grow. “I feel guilty.”

Joanie seemed less shocked by my admission than I was. She nodded and stared down at her lap. “Have you seen anyone about it?”

“Yeah. I just never had a real-life scenario to apply the therapy to before now, so it’s not going all that well.” I read her confusion and gripped the steering wheel tighter. “I never wanted anyone in a real way before…now.”

Her eyes widened. “Now?”

Throwing caution to the wind, I nodded. “Yeah. I don’t think it’s a secret that I want you, Joanie.”

“It might be a bit of a secret.” Her lowered voice made the conversation feel more intimate. “I didn’t exactly get the impression you liked me all that much.”

I put the truck in drive and started moving again, just to give myself something to focus on. “Anyway. I’m a fucking mess and I snapped at the girls last night. I’m working on it.”

Her tone shifted into annoyance. “Okay? That’s where the conversation ends?”

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