Page 35 of Redeem Me

“I want to see them tomorrow.”

“No,” Leon replies. “You can see them in two days.”

Standing up, I announce, “They can come to my house for an early dinner. You can send security or whatever. I’ll have food. Everything will be fine.” I focus my gaze on Natasha who seems panicky again. “You’re going to like my cats.”

Her face fights a little grin. Natasha still wants me. I know that look in her eyes. I’m the guy she craves. Once I win over her kids, she’ll forgive my sins and become putty in my hands.

With a new plan in mind, I tell Hector and Jacinda goodbye and return to my motorcycle. The kids clap when it roars to life. Yeah, they’ll be easy to impress.

I let my gaze linger on Natasha. No woman’s ever looked so beautiful. I nearly don’t leave. I’d rather follow her around all day, but life doesn’t work that way.

Besides, I remind myself how she’s back now. Her family won’t let her run again. I’m her best shot at a good life. All Natasha needs to do is get over hating me, and we’ll both get what we need.

NATASHA

I win a reprieve of two days before I need to face Bear again. At first, Leon isn’t impressed with my theatrics. He doesn’t view the biker as a threat, so interrupting his routine feels like I’ve insulted him.

Leon stares at me while I babble in Czech, but I don’t think he hears me. His mind is on Jacinda holding his finger. I can see how much it bothers him to allow her contact.

Behind me, Bear demands his deal, now and with no caveats.

“What do you want me to do?” Leon finally asks, gesturing for me to shut up. “If I send him away, he might not return. Your other options aren’t particularly impressive. According to Maks, the Guillory family is interested in you. Well, not you specifically, but aligning with us. Do you really want to bring the French into our family?”

Leon’s words make sense. He is rational while I’m spinning with panic. I should submit to his will, but I can’t shake my fear. Pretending Siobhan is standing with me, I do what I imagine she would suggest.

“I’m afraid,” I tell Leon who refuses to react. “I lived that small, quiet life for two years, and I figured I’d be there for another dozen. I wasn’t ready to return to this world. I know you’re right about who I should marry, but I’m still afraid and in pain.”

Leon gives me the same disdainful expression wielded by our mother when I returned home. He views me as an embarrassment. I know I seem crazed. I feel that way. Marrying Bear is a million times better than a stranger from the Guillory family or Joey Del Vecchio or anyone else who might be interested in aligning with the Syndicate.

I’m just not ready to be alone with Bear. He’ll seduce me without even trying. I can’t trust myself around him. If I force my heart to forgive him too quickly, it won’t stick. I’ll spend a lifetime holding a grudge.

With a little time, I can adjust to my new situation. The first few weeks with Andrew were the most difficult. When he found me caring for his children after he woke from his drunken stupor, he asked me to stick around longer. Andrew wasn’t a smart man, but he knew how to spot an opportunity. Once I was willing to live in his house and raise his kids, he wormed his way out of paying for daycare or worrying about their wellbeing. I became their sole caregiver.

Andrew didn’t hit me in the beginning, but I still barely tolerated him. I found him to be annoying and immature. I hated how he didn’t cherish his children. His family was obnoxious. Every night, I rested in bed with plans to run in the morning. The kids weren’t my responsibility. I wasn’t their mom. I could leave without guilt.

In the morning, I’d see their little faces and refuse to walk away. After a month, I no longer nursed plans of leaving. I simply settled into my new life and adjusted my expectations. I’ll do the same with Bear if I’m given the chance to breathe.

Leon might think I’m behaving hysterically, but he loves me. My fears cut at him despite how little emotion he reveals.

That’s why he puts his foot down with Bear. The biker considers pushing back. They’re both stubborn men. Yet, Bear and Leon are essentially only disagreeing over a two-day wait. I see the exact moment when Bear realizes he’s getting what he wants. His jaw unclenches, and he stops glaring at my brother.

Bear looks at me, and his blue eyes shine in triumph. I’m relieved by his response. Not only so he’ll leave and allow me to get my head on straight. I also like how he views me as the prize he’s claimed.

As much as my heart wants to freeze out Bear, he keeps engaging with the kids. I know he’s trying to impress me with his “daddy skills.” He’s so obviously awkward with them, but he still puts in more effort than their real father ever did.

And he has cats! I don’t know why his casual admission of owning two cats charms me so much. I suspect I’m dying to love Bear O’Malley. Anything he does will win me over. That’s why I need more time to prepare for my new reality.

Once Bear rides off, Leon looks down at Jacinda still holding his pinkie. She notices his gaze and offers a sloppy grin.

“Why do they drool so much?” my brother asks me.

“The bad man dragged them across cheap carpet and burned their little lips. That’s why they keep licking them. It’s not something they usually do.”

Leon frowns at me. “You shouldn’t have stayed with him.”

“I couldn’t keep them if I left.”

“You’re keeping them right now.”

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