Page 20 of Redeem Me

“Natasha, come with me,” my mother says in a voice dripping with disdain.

Scolded, I stand and ask my sister to watch the kids. Petra gives me a reassuring hand squeeze before I follow Katja into the hallway. Once she closes the dining room doors, my mother stares at me with unflinching scorn.

“You were playing around earlier. Now, you’re crying at the table like a child.”

I stare into her eyes and try to remember the woman who raised me. This perfectly coifed socialite is a stranger. She no longer possesses the heart of a mother capable of consoling her unhappy child. That’s why I’m ashamed to cry in front of her. Yet, my tears won’t stop.

“What?” she snaps. “Why the dramatics?”

“I’m scared.”

“Of what. The man is dead.”

“Of what comes next.”

My mother watches me cry, waiting for me to turn off the waterworks. I’m so consumed with dread, though. Nothing registers beyond the prison waiting for me once my brother negotiates a husband.

When Katja’s arms wrap around me, I flinch, assuming she’s lashing out. Quickly, her embrace soothes my fearful heart.

“You should have married that biker,” she says, holding me against her and stroking my hair as I calm down. “He had a crush on you. I think he’d suit your overly emotional ways. But you didn’t stay.”

When she releases me, I wipe my eyes and mumble, “He killed Ollie.”

Katja fixes my hair and sighs. “You remind me of my sister. Gizela hoped to save the world just like you do.”

Sniffling, I don’t know much about my aunt. Katja and Viktor rarely speak of the dead.

“She thought I was cold to put myself first. But the problem with filling your big heart with the world’s endless trauma is the weight of so much pain will drag you down. That’s what killed Gizela. She was sacrificed at the altar of good intentions.”

“I don’t know how to be anyone but me.”

“I know,” Katja says and brushes her thumb across my battered mouth. “Caring for your children is a smarter use of your time than trying to save the world.”

Nodding, I take advantage of her good mood and admit, “I’m afraid to marry Joey Del Vecchio.”

Katja wipes the final tears from my cheeks. “The first time that man met me, he remarked I was glamorous like a high-end call girl,” Katja says and then cocks her right brow. “You will never marry Joey Del Vecchio.”

I smile at her tone, feeling like a little girl whose mom just pushed back against a bully. “Will you talk to Roman?”

“Your brother has no intention of marrying you off to a brute. He’s simply angry with you and lashing out. He isn’t wrong to be upset, of course.”

I lose my smile and shrink in front of her. My mother wraps an arm around my shoulders and guides me back toward the dining room.

“When you didn’t want to marry the biker, you ran away rather than come to your brother to fix the problem. When you wanted to keep the children but not their father, you took beatings rather than call for help. Roman was hurt by your behavior. So, yes, he will taunt you with terrible men like the Italian. It’s your responsibility not to take his words so personally.”

Before she opens the door to the dining room, I hug her tightly and soak in my mom’s affections. “I love you,” I whisper and exhale deeply. “I missed you.”

When our embrace ends, I find her beautiful, blue eyes wet.

“Don’t run off again,” she says, blinking away her tears. “Petra living so far away was difficult enough. At least, we could visit. With you, we had to pretend you were lost in the world.”

“I promise I won’t run again.”

My mother gives me a soft smile and opens the door where the conversation only consists of Petra telling the kids how spinach will give them big muscles.

“That’s how Leon grew so strong,” she finishes up.

The three children focus their gazes on my brother who absolutely refuses to acknowledge their attention.

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