Page 182 of The Warlock's Trial

I turned back to the sink. “Thanks, but you don’t have to check up on me. I’ll be okay.”

He spoke gently. “We both know that’s not true. Now’s not the time to mask your emotions.”

I grabbed the scrub brush from the counter and scrubbed under my nails vigorously. My skin was turning red, and to anyone else it may appear painful, but I felt nothing. “I need to get the dirt off,” I stated flatly.

Warren stepped up beside me and placed a gentle hand on my arm. “It’s okay to not be okay.”

The tears beading in my eyes spilled over the lids. I’d already cried so much. I wasn’t sure I had any tears left in me. Professor Warren wrapped me in a hug, and all I could do was sag against him. Water dripped from my hands onto the floor, but it barely registered.

The hug was strange, because Warren was like a father figure to me, and all I ever got from my own father was lectures on how to man up. I couldn’t recall a time when my father and I had exchanged a hug, yet it was everything I needed right now. I needed someone to tell me it was okay to be vulnerable, before convincing me to compose myself so I could be there for my wife and child.

My shoulders shook in sobs. “I loved him so much.”

“I know,” Warren said softly. “There is no grief like that of losing a child. I can’t imagine what you’re going through.”

“I don’t want you to,” I told him. “No one should ever have to go through this.”

Warren drew away. His eyes were red with tears. “You don’t have to do it alone, all right? We’re all here for you.”

People kept saying that. I just wished it was enough, but it wasn’t. Nothing could replace losing my son. Platitudes and sympathy only went so far, and they did nothing to ease this pain.

“It’s not fair,” I told him. “Helena and Dean are gone. Everyone I love either dies or leaves, and I’m sick of people around me getting hurt. I love Dean so much, but it wasn’t enough to save him. All the love in the world wasn’t able to bring him back.”

“Just because the love you experienced didn’t last doesn’t mean it wasn’t real,” Warren said gently.

“You don’t get it,” I said harshly. “I told you before, everyone I love abandons me. My son didn’t get a chance to even choose—he was forced to go, and none of us got a chance to even know him. It’s fucked up. It’s wrong.”

“It is wrong. It’s cruel, and awful, and shouldn’t ever happen,” Warren stated. “But sometimes it does, and there’s nothing we can do.”

“I should’ve been stronger. If I was more powerful, I might’ve been able to do something.”

“You’re an incredible reaper, but though you have the powers of death, you don’t have the ability to stop it,” Warren replied quietly. “There aren’t any words anyone can give that will take away this pain. But I want you to know that your community is here for you, and we aren’t going anywhere.”

I didn’t quite believe him, but I knew he was being genuine, so I merely wiped my eyes and said, “I need to get back to my wife now.”

“Of course.” He stepped aside to let me pass.

Each room I passed felt like a blur, until I reached the bedroom. Nadine was asleep on the bed, and Marcus was breathing quietly inside his incubator. Nadine’s hand rested inside the incubator, with one finger placed in Marcus’s hand. It was so precious that all I could do was stare for several moments, taking it in.

The lamp on the nightstand was on, but I didn’t bother turning it off when I crawled into bed. I didn’t want to miss a moment watching my precious little boy if I didn’t have to.

I snuggled up next to Nadine. She stirred slightly but didn’t wake. I watched Marcus’s tiny chest rise and fall, until I drifted off to sleep.

An odd sensation came over my body, like I was drifting upward. I opened my eyes to see the room bathed in the familiar rainbow colors of the astral plane. Nadine’s ethereal form sat at the edge of the bed, looking down into Marcus’s incubator. Our bodies lay soundlessly snuggled up together on the bed.

“I see we both had the same idea,” I remarked.

Nadine’s spirit turned to me. “My body was so tired, but I didn’t want to miss a moment with him. I figured I wouldn’t have to miss a second if I was astral traveling. This way, I can be with him while my body rests.”

I sat on the edge of the bed beside her in spiritual form and took her hand in mine. I couldn’t take my eyes off Marcus, though. “We’ve been through a lot tonight, but I could’ve lost all of you, and I’m really glad I didn’t.”

Nadine rested her head on my shoulder. “I just wish we had more time to say goodbye.”

The sound of a baby’s cry filled the room, and we both immediately became more alert. I shot to my feet and peered into Marcus’s incubator. Marcus was sound asleep.

The cry came again, only I realized it was coming from the other side of the room. I turned, and my spirit nearly dropped straight back into my body. Lying in the second incubator was Dean. His form was ghost-like and transparent, but his cries were strong.

Nadine and I slowly approached his incubator, as if we were both afraid this was some sort of trick. His little arms and legs wiggled, and he reached out to us, like he was looking for someone to grab on to.

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