Page 73 of Daddy's Lesson

At least with Archer there I’d felt like I had someone watching out for me, even if the side he was on was Lennon’s.

“I did have them last night, and I’m glad I did, because you know what they helped me realize? Well, what Theo helped me realize, I should say?”

“Hmmm?”

“That I was not a good Daddy, or even a Daddy at all, if I let you walk away without a fight. If I let you blow shit up between us and stood by, licking my wounds. I was not a Daddy if I didn’t put it all on the line to get one last chance.”

That phrase—the one about having your breath stolen away? I knew what that felt like now. I pinched myself, still half certain this was a dream, or a figment of my desperate imagination. It hurt, and I could see two crescent shaped marks where my nails indented my skin.

And here Lennon was trying to fix my mistakes. Taking blame that belonged to me. Being a perfect Daddy once again. I couldn’t let him. “Lennon… Daddy…” I squeaked, clearing my throat in the hope that I could actually get words out.

He laid his hand on mine. “Let me finish, little girl.”

A thrill started in my belly and went lower, the way it always did when he called me that.

“When you said you didn't drink and didn’t want alcohol around you, I should have pushed, asked for the full story, listened to your reasons. I should have realized how important it was to you.”

“I should have… told you. And I should not have gone crazy at the club.”

He laced his fingers with mine. “Maybe. And we will talk about that, but first… I need to apologize.”

I shook my head. I couldn’t let him do it. Couldn’t sit here and listen to him take blame when once again, I was the one at fault. “No!” This time, my voice rang out strong and clear, and much sharper than I’d intended. “No,” I repeated.

He arched one brow and cocked his head, looking at me with a frown.

“You don’t need to apologize.” Twisting myself to meet his gaze, I placed one hand on each side of his face. His cheeks were rough and unshaven, unusual for him. “I do.”

“I’m listening,” he said, placing his hands over mine.”

“I shouldn’t have made a scene. I shouldn’t have smacked you. I shouldn’t have lied and said I was done with you. I’m not. I should have told you about my past.”

“And I want to hear that, definitely.” He lifted our hands, still laced together, and pressed mine to his lips. “Thank you for your apology babygirl.”

“You’re welcome,” I breathed. Was it really that simple? Was it just… over? I didn’t feel like I deserved for it to be so easy.

Apparently, neither did Lennon. His ragged sigh hurt my heart. “I want to be the kind of man who would do anything for you, and I feel like an ass saying I don’t want to give up drinking. Like, it sounds ridiculous. But I can’t be the man who gives into ultimatums when I haven’t done anything wrong. I will never put drinking before you. You don’t want it in the house, fine. You don’t want me to drink when you’re around, also fine. You want me to cut my drinking to once a week, or even once a month, I can do that. But babe… whatever happened to you… whoever it was that caused you to have the relationship with alcohol that you have, that person isn’t me. I work hard, and yes, I also know how to play hard. I’ve lived behind the shadow of my party-boy persona for far too long, and honestly, I’m ready to put it behind me, but if I give up being able to relax at the club on a Friday night and have a drink with my friends, or being able to have a beer after a long day, eventually I think I’d resent you, and having been forced to make that choice to be with you.” He paused, his hard frown marring his face and hiding his dimples. “And like… I don’t even know what happened. Obviously something did, because your response was so intense, but I don’t know what. You never told me.” He tucked a tear-soaked strand of hair behind my ear and caressed my face. “What happened, babygirl?”

I sighed. I hated talking about it, but I knew I owed him at least that much. Drawing a deep breath and exhaling it sharply, I told my story, or at least as much of it as I was willing to tell. I never went into details. Too much time had passed, and doing so never put me in a good place, and I needed to move on.

“My father was a drunk, and not a nice one. He was abusive to both my mother and me. So alcohol was just something I kind of feared. Still, when I became of age, and I was married to my now ex-husband, we would drink occasionally. At work functions and stuff. It was fine at first. But pretty soon he started to drink too much, and a couple times he crossed lines he never would have crossed while sober.”

Lennon sucked in a breath, his expression murderous, and I put up a hand as if it could stop whatever was going through his mind.

“Of all the things I hold against my now ex-husband, that period in our marriage isn't one of them. Because he quickly self-corrected. We got therapy, we stopped drinking, he promised to never make me feel that way again, and he kept that promise for all the years we were together. And I’m around alcohol sometimes, at work functions and such, but he never drank, and neither did I. Nobody I was close to or had any kind of relationship outside of work ever did, so I honestly had no idea the reaction I would have until I was having it.”

He nodded, but said nothing, and I continued.

“I’m really, really sorry for how I acted, and I’m really, really sorry for not telling you that before. I should have.”

Lennon leaned his head against mine. “It’s okay, I get it. I’m just thankful that you didn't kick me out or call the cops when you saw me this morning. I’m thankful we’ve had a chance to talk and hopefully work things out.”

There was a lump in my throat as I nodded. My brain was lying to me, hearing things in his responses that I was pretty sure were not actually there. Tears pricked the corners of my eyelids, and I forced myself to change the subject. “Thank you for making me talk to you. And for the flowers… But uh… what were you doing with the blackboard?”

“Getting ahead of myself,” he answered with a scoff.

“No, really.” I nudged him with my elbow. “What were you doing?”

“You really want to know?”

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