I rip my smock off, forgo washing my paint-stained hands, and rush down the stairs – one level, two levels – until I'm standing in front of her bedroom door. I raise my fist to knock, with every intention to confess how I truly feel, to sweep her in my arms, kiss her, claim her body, mind, and soul, but suddenly stop myself short, as if waking from a momentary stupor.
What am I doing? I lower my hand.
All this time, I've waited for her. I've kept my feelings in check and my hands to myself, for the most part, I'm only a man after all. But I promised I would give her what everyone else in her life didn't. I promised to give her the freedom to make her own decisions. I'd be a liar if I claimed it wouldn't cleave me in two if she left Tronovia, if she chose a life with another man, but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I forced my hand and clouded her judgment. She deserves the chance to control her destiny, even if I'm not in it.
Fuck.
I back away, making sure my steps are quiet, and slip back upstairs to my studio. When I turn the corner at the top of the staircase, I stare from a distance at the portrait of her and I'm struck by how much she looks like a Celestial. I've seen sketches and paintings of Enver Sol and heard tales about his magic from my father and uncle. Now, I can't help but notice the similarities between Enver Sol and Shaye. She has his magic, and if she's half as powerful as he was, we might stand a fighting chance at defeating Drogon, should Bastian and his Soul Eaters release him.
Whether she knows it or not, I'm hers. Every bit I can offer: my strengths, my weaknesses, even the frightening parts of myself, are hers.
I may be damned for it, but I am hers. I am hers. I am hers. I am hers.
And maybe, just maybe, she will be mine.
Twenty-One
Shaye
Days quickly turn to weeks and before I know it, I've been living in Tronovia for an entire month and what's weird is I feel like I should have been here my whole life. Weirder still, and oddly concerning, is we haven't received word from Midori about my whereabouts. I at least expected my parents to send some kind of demands or threats in assuring my release and safe return, but nothing has arrived. And if I wasn't so concerned about the silence, the king and his nephews also seem uncharacteristically on edge about it.
I've kept to a strict routine to keep myself distracted from the unknown surrounding my family. I attend Professor Riggs' lectures, train with Atlas, and scour through countless books in Calmara researching the history of Dalerin, the Celestials, and gleaning whatever information I can find about the rarity of Tethering.
Atlas seems to be busier these days and I've spent very little time with him outside of our lessons. Part of me is worried our encounter in his room has ruined whatever friendship we could have had, but when we train together, there's a spark of hope within me that whispers that everything will work out in the end.
I've wanted to ask him about the encounter, but I've kept my mouth shut and ensured topics of conversation between us are strictly professional. And now, three weeks and five days after that awkward rejection, I'm lying awake in my bed, staring up at my ceiling knowing he's sleeping without a care in the world right above me. Shame burns within my belly once more and instead of lying here any longer, stewing in embarrassment, I flip my covers off, get dressed early for the day, and make my way downstairs.
I hate to admit it, but since Nyx has been helping me learn hand-to-hand combat at the house and having me go for runs with him, I've come to enjoy the activity. I know Nyx will have a stroke if I go for a run on my own, but I don't have school today and I just want to clear my head. I go to the keys hanging on the hooks and look for Nyx's set, determined to be back before he wakes up, but something catches my eye. At the end of the row of hooks, the sixth one that has remained empty for the entirety of my stay, now has a gold plate with my name on it and a set of house keys dangles below. Hesitantly, I reach out and grab them. I read my name over and over and over again on the plaque, thinking I must be imagining it, but I'm not. Someone had a name plate and set of keys made for me and I've never felt so loved and wanted before.
"I hope adding your name to the wall is alright."
I spin around to find Atlas standing at the bottom of the staircase, dressed casually by his standards in a loose-fitted shirt and sweatpants. His hair is somewhat disheveled, as if he's just rolled out of bed himself.
I flip the keys in my hand, stunned by the sweet gesture. "You did this?"
"I thought it was about time you had a set of your own."
A long silence stretches between us. I should be uncomfortable with the two of us just quietly staring at one another, mentally willing the other to say something, but it's peaceful. I sometimes feel like I could spend an entire afternoon just sitting with him, not saying a word, and still be heard. My hands begin to glow and for once, I'm not ashamed. Atlas has done something extremely kind and thoughtful. It's hard not to be happy with him, even if things are weird between us right now.
"Happy or angry?" he asks, a glint of sadness in his eyes.
"I think this is the nicest gift I've ever received."
That seems to take him by surprise. "Keys?"
"A home."
"You will always have a place here."
Another comfortable silence falls over us, but I don't allow it to last long. "I was about to go for a run."
"I'm sure Nyx will love exercising at the crack of dawn on a non-school day," he smirks.
"Actually," I take a small, tentative step toward him and whisper, "I didn't tell him I was going."
Atlas laughs softly and crosses his arms over his chest, leaning his hip against the staircase banister. "I can't wait to see the look on his face when he wakes up and you're gone."
"Would you like to come with me?" I blurt out before I can think better of it.