Page 67 of A Ballad of Beasts and Brothers

"Temnos." I remember the word Atlas would use with Finn when he lost control of his power during his school days. Ironic, I'd be forced to use it on Atlas, if he was the one who lost control.

With a reluctant nod, he stomps to the right, Ronan hot on his heels.

"Does that mean you're walking with me?" I flick my eyes up toward Nyx.

"Always," he smiles, though it's not his typical grin.

We walk in the opposite direction of Atlas and Ronan to the far end where the clearing meets the pines. I turn around and see Atlas talking to Ronan and the concern on his face is hard to miss. For a moment, I consider calling this off. It's far too dangerous, especially if three people killed themselves the last time he used his Transcendent state. But when I take another look across the distance and drink Atlas in, I see someone who is just as afraid as I am. Someone who bears guilt and shame and blames himself for what happened all those years ago. If there is to be war, I will need him to be at his best, even if it is terrifying. He said he wants me to survive the war, and that's exactly what I expect him to do, too.

"Are you sure about this, Kitarni?" Nyx says so softly I almost don't hear him.

I swallow before clearing my throat, "I'll be fine, Nyx."

"If you think you need to do this to prove how tough you are – "

"It's not like that." I shake my head, once again eyeing Atlas and Ronan exchange words. "I think he needs this just as much as I do."

He looks in the direction I am, then meets my nervous gaze. "You really do care about him."

There's no teasing in Nyx's voice, just a plain statement and as terrifying as that thought is – he's right. I have feelings, strong feelings, for Atlas. I know he cares about me, and he's made it very clear that he's attracted to me, but that doesn't mean we will end up together in the end. This could all be one tragic love story in the making, but if there is one thing I am fully confident in, it's that I can help Atlas overcome his fear and in doing so, prepare myself for whatever Drogon and Bastian might throw my way. If I can master my greatest fears, they won't be able to control me, and maybe then, I can ensure his safety.

"Kitarni?"

I look up at Nyx, my thoughts disappearing.

"What do you think you'll see?" he asks.

"A lot of monstrous things." But what I don't say is I'm hoping I don't see Atlas as one of those horrific things. Nyx sucks in a breath, giving away his nerves, so I pat his shoulder and offer a reassuring smile. "I'll be alright, Nyx. Get on the boat and under no circumstances are you to return until Atlas' Transcendent state is over."

Nyx seems reluctant but finally nods in agreement, tucking me to his chest for a much-needed hug. "Don't let him hurt you," he whispers in my ear. "My uncle will have my ass, if anything bad happens to you."

Even though I know he's teasing to lighten the mood, his concern for me is well warranted. Hell, I'm even worried about my safety, but Atlas needs this. I need this. I might not have first-hand knowledge and experience of what a battlefield looks and feels like, but I know I won't be nearly prepared by running from my fear and taking the easy way route in training. Training is preparation for war. It's time I start embracing the pain and hardship, if I am to survive in the end.

Ronan pats Atlas' chest twice before whispering something in his ear and strutting back toward the dock where the boat is tied. Once the prince and Nyx are safely aboard, I watch them row further than I expect them to. My stomach is in knots when I turn my focus back to Atlas who is staring at me from the other side of the clearing.

As discussed before our arrival, I nod my head, giving him the signal that I'm ready. My knees tremble and my lip quivers as a frigid breeze whips through, chilling me to my bones. I scan the trees lining the clearing and they sway, groaning in agony, and the fear that I've been quietly battling is now a full-blown war inside my chest.

A guttural grunt from across the way nabs my attention. Atlas closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and grits his teeth through screams, as if something is being torn from within. He falls to one knee as two black-feathered wings rip out of his back and shroud his body. Another agonizing scream reaches me before he flips his head up and meets my awaiting gaze. Those green eyes I've come to adore are now pitch black. Only when he stands to his full height do I realize there are poisonous, black veins snaking up his arms, rounding his neck, and streaking across his cheeks. Now I see why he was so averse to taking this form. It's truly horrifying.

"Atlas?" There's no possible way he can hear me whisper at this distance, but his head snaps to the side in bird-like fashion. His soulless eyes dart to meet mine and the menacing grin he flashes nearly makes my heart stop beating.

His throaty laugh echoes in my head and with one flick of his wrist, shadows spew from him and stretch toward me. Within seconds, I am enveloped in a shroud of darkness and my childhood fear of the dark creeps through me. I can no longer see Atlas, or Nox, I should say, but I can sense him. He's swimming in my head, crawling underneath my skin, scraping like fingernails up and down my spine. He's everywhere and nowhere at the same time and though I was hoping I wouldn't be afraid of him, I hate to admit I am. Nox is far more terrifying than I ever imagined or expected. I want so badly to scream, to put an end to this, to speak the Tronovian safe word Atlas made me promise to use, if I thought this was too much for me to handle, but I grit my teeth and dig my nails into the palms of my hands and force myself to endure the torture.

"I can feel your fear." A manic whisper brushes past me. "And it smells delicious."

"Atlas?" I whimper, hoping in vain that the fear squeezing my heart will dissipate.

"So much frightens you."

My stomach flips as an icy chill hovers above me. I force myself to open my eyes, to look at what may or may not be lurking, but just as before, it's pitch black. It's then I remember that I am light. I can defeat my fear of darkness by combating it with what flows through me.

I think of Atlas, knowing just the thought of his smile, the tone of his voice, the mischievous gleam in his green eyes will strengthen my magic. It hums beneath my fingertips and slowly my hands begin to glow, streaking through the black shroud.

"I am not afraid of the dark," I say aloud, more to convince myself than anyone else. "I am not afraid of the dark." I repeat those seven words over and over again until I start to believe it.

"You are not afraid of the dark, because you possess light." The creepy voice oozes around me and I wish I could swat it away like a bothersome fly, but there's no one there to shoo away. "Dim your light and tell me you do not fear me."

Goosebumps ripple across my skin and I shiver at the thought of willingly allowing the darkness to take me once more, but he's right. I do not fear the dark because I have light. I take a deep breath, fighting the tears that sting my eyes, and snuff the light out.

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