Page 23 of Catch and Release

She thought a lot of things, and she didn’t know what was true anymore.

“Willa? You there?” Charlie said.

“I’m here.”

“Look, babe. I know you’re going through it right now. Who wouldn’t be reeling after everything that’s happened to you? God, it’s only been a few weeks since you found out about him.” Charlie knew better than to say Leo’s name. “I say this with all the love in the world: You need to go to therapy. It’s not good for you to just sit with all these feelings and let them fester. I’m here to lend an ear whenever. You know that. But I really think talking to a licensed professional would go a long way. And you promised me you’d find a therapist after you moved.”

“I know,” Willa said. She’d been in and out of therapy for a lot of her life. She believed in the value of it, but just never found a therapist who stuck. “You’re right. I’ll look into it this week.”

Charlie sighed, clearly relieved.

“Good. I’m going to check in and make sure you actually do it. Getting started is the hardest part.”

Willa grinned. “Thanks, Charlie.”

“So…,” Charlie cleared her throat. “How’s it going with your sexy neighbor?”

Willa gasped. “I never said he was sexy!”

“Didn’t have to,” Charlie said, clearly holding back a laugh. “I could tell. He’s getting under your skin.”

“Look, I’m friends with his grandma and he brought me a pie. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“So you know how big his deal is? Interesting.”

“Charlie.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll shut up.”

Never mind that Willa had gone through a few boxes before digging out her favorite vibrator and masturbated to the image of a sweaty Shawn fucking her like there was no tomorrow. No, she wasn’t going to think about the fact that she’d had a sex dream about him that same night that made her wake up in a cold sweat wondering how talented he was with his tongue. And she definitely wasn’t going to mention that she’d never felt hornier in her life.

“Did I lose you?” Charlie asked, a smile sneaking through in her voice.

“Maybe I should have a one-night stand.”

A beat of silence passed.

“With your sexy neighbor?”

“No, Charlie. With… someone. Like. At a bar?”

Charlie laughed.

“You don’t do one-night stands. You do boyfriends.”

“Right, but you do. So teach me.”

“It’s not that hard, Willa. Just go to a bar. Dance with a guy. Ask him to come back to your place. Tell him what to do to you. Kick him out before you go to bed. The end.”

Willa’s stomach dropped at the idea of it.

She didn’t love the idea of having sex with a total stranger and kicking them to the curb. Shouldn’t there be an inherent trust with a sexual partner, even if there’s nothing long-term there?

Then again, she’d trusted Leo, and look where that landed her.

Maybe she could just go the friends-with-benefits route. Have casual sex with someone she knew and trusted, but stick to her plan of staying away from men. Shawn popped into her head for a brief moment. She felt heat creep up her cheeks as she allowed herself to imagine it, but almost instantly threw the idea away. There was no way she could casually sleep with Ida’s grandson and then face her every morning for their walk.

“I can hear you overthinking this,” Charlie said.

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