Page 115 of Catch and Release

She listened to her voicemail.

And her heart shattered.

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Shawn felt a hand gently clasp his shoulder, and he looked up from where he’d buried his head in his palms to see Hanna standing over him with misty eyes.

“Shawn,” she whispered.

Shawn stood up, and Hanna tugged him into a hug. He buried his face onto her shoulder, even though she was much shorter than him, and let his tears flow freely. Seeing them here—his best friends—made him breathe a sigh of relief.

He didn’t know if Grams would be okay.

He didn’t know what was next.

He felt like a failure of a grandson.

But he wasn’t alone in this bright white, clorox-smelling waiting room anymore.

Tucker tugged them both into a hug, and the three of them held each other in silence for a few moments.

“It’s my fault,” Shawn said, uttering the words out loud that had been echoing in his head for the past hour.

“Don’t say that, Shawn,” Hanna replied. “That’s not true.”

“I should’ve been with her,” he said, stepping back and wiping his eyes. “If I was with her, it might not have been so bad. I don’t even know how long she was laying on the floor before I found her.”

“Shawn,” Tucker said. “You can’t be with her all the time.”

“I could be with her more,” he said. “Instead of being with?—”

“Nope,” Hanna said, cutting him off. “We’re not doing that. You aren’t going to rob yourself of happiness so you can constantly watch over Ida. She wouldn’t want that. She wants you to be happy. Plus, if you were constantly keeping an eye on her, I’m pretty sure it’d drive her crazy.”

Hanna gave him a weak smile, and he blew out a breath. Somewhere, in the depths of his mind, he knew she was right. But he couldn’t stop feeling guilty.

“I didn’t find her right away,” he told them. “I was too wrapped up in my own shit. Then I heard her moan.”

“You got her here,” Tucker said. “That’s what matters.”

Shawn sat back down and buried his hands in his head, trying not to play through every single what-if that was running through his mind.

It was torture.

What if he’d been there?

What if he’d found her sooner?

What if he’d never been out with Willa at all?

Hanna sat next to him and threw her arm around him.

“Where’s Willa?” she asked. “How’d the date go?”

He instantly deflated.

“Don’t tell me it went bad. Tuck made some of his best food for that date.”

Shawn chuckled humorlessly.

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