Page 18 of My Dearest Mackenzie

We walked side by side, the heat of the day lingering on the sidewalk. It wasn’t far to Tenth and Thirtieth, and time was ticking by quickly. Maybe we’d get distracted from the question? But I quickly realized there was no deterring this woman. “It means something like bravado. You’re not afraid to say what you want or mean. Milly always meant it as a good thing. In fact,” I felt my voice lower at this admission, “she often said she wished she had more chutzpah when she was younger.”

“Maybe she meant in regard to Paps?”

“Honestly, I have no clue. I’d never heard of James before you, so it could be. Mostly, it was when I played sports. ‘Don’t be shy, Mackenzie. Play hard and be brave.’ When I got to college, she said, ‘Make friends and do what’s right.’”

“Do you have someone you can ask?”

“About what?”

“My Paps.”

We were one block from my building, and I was starting to resent the project. I’d spent the better part of the last two decades shoving my family to the back of my mind. “Other than my dad’s sister, no. And she’s the last person on earth I want to engage. And that is a very long list she’s heading up.”

Another small laugh awarded me a slight view of her neck, and again the expanse I wanted to traverse. “Not even for me?”

I yanked open the door of the tower that housed my offices, and nodded to the security man as she said it.

“Hi, Miss,” the detail said to Frances, confirming I was in trouble.

Not even for me?

That was the problem. For her, I’d do it, and I didn’t just do stuff for most people.

“Where were your offices before?” Frances tactfully changed the subject in the elevator, and I felt a sigh of relief roll up my chest.

“Over in Midtown, but I got a tip on this area and haven’t regretted it.”

“No doubt. It’s pretty much the hottest area in the city.”

There was something about this woman. Tiny in stature, fierce in personality. Sweet in nature, sexy in every sense. Comforting when she smiled, scary when you could see her brain twitching.

“Give me a sec,” I told her more for my benefit than hers. I needed a minute or ten to collect myself. I guided her to a waiting area and said, “There’s water, sodas, wine, over there…I’ll be right out.”

I needed to grab a quick shower and change, but mostly put my armor back on before we went to the damn dinner I’d suggested. It all felt like too much and way too little at the same time; I didn’t do activities coupled with dinner dates. Except, here I was.

We went to a Mediterranean place near Hudson Yards. Of course it was hip and popular, loud and frenetic, and felt like the distraction Mack seemed to always seek. After what I’d classify as a few run-ins with the man, I already knew he evaded feelings like the plague.

Now, he sat across from me, showered and back in his suit. Literally and figuratively—he’d cloaked himself back in his emotional armor.

We ordered drinks and Mack asked the server, Luke, to bring a platter of dips while we continued our small talk. He called Luke by his first name, making eye contact, and acting as if they were old friends. I realized this was part of the reason why he was so successful: he could turn on the charm better than most and make it feel realer than anyone. Also, money and connections helped.

“An old friend of mine got heavily invested in Hudson Yards, and he suggested I take my offices there,” Mack explained. Like most of his reasoning, it felt bleached of emotion, except he added a personal tidbit. “My dad would have hated it here, so I knew it was a good move. He was risk averse, and I’m not.”

With my wine and his scotch, neat, in front of us, I asked, “Why do you think you’re so accepting of risk?”

He smirked. “You don’t know already? You didn’t read it somewhere on the interwebs?”

“No, should I have seen it somewhere?”

He took a slug of his drink, and I watched his muscles work as the liquid traversed his throat, rippling over his Adam’s apple. My fingers twitched to touch him, feel his pulse, bring his humanity to the surface.

“I just thought it was obvious to anyone who studied me, like you did. I have no ties to anyone, no real responsibility other than to the health of the company, so I make aggressive moves. Maybe they’re bold or risky, but this business is my legacy and I can chance it.”

“Is that what Milly wanted? You to chance life?” I couldn’t help myself, and judging by the stare coming from Mack, he knew I couldn’t resist.

He took a carrot and dipped it into hummus, stalling, crunching, and eyeing me.

I did the same.

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