Page 86 of Mr. Wicked

“No, you don’t.” I placed the half-eaten veggie slice on the plate and rubbed the grease from my fingers onto the napkin. “But I would love it if you would.”

He stared at me for what felt like hours until he broke eye contact and looked through the windows that were just to the side of me. “She took off when I was ten. She was done—being a wife and a mother. She wanted no part in either.”

My throat tightened, but I said nothing.

He didn’t need to be questioned. He just needed time to get it all out.

“I wrote her letters. I tried to get in contact with her. She didn’t want to be found, and she didn’t want to come back. But I was too young to understand that then.” He finally looked at me. “As I got older, I found out she had an affair. Fuck, she really had multiple affairs. She’d disappear for a couple of days; Dad would catch her with some dude and bring her back because he didn’t want to break up our family. He’d give me some wild excuse, telling me she went to a spa or a vacation with her girlfriends—things we couldn’t afford. I should have known that.” He wiped his mouth and threw the napkin on top of his half slice. “The last straw was when she cleaned out the bank account and stole all my baseball cards to pawn. That’s when Dad decided not to go look for her. He said she could destroy him all she wanted, but the moment she hurt me, that was it.” His chest rose but didn’t fall. “That was the last time I saw her.” He placed the plate on the table next to his empty beer. “She has a sister who my dad has somewhat kept in touch with, and a few months after we started Hooked, she showed up at my dad’s place with an urn of my mom’s ashes.”

“How did she die?”

He got up and went into the kitchen, getting himself another beer, which he carried to the couch. “She was living in New Mexico at the time with a bunch of dudes. I guess she dropped dead of a heart attack right in the middle of the living room. The guys wouldn’t pay to fly her body to Boston and my aunt didn’t have the cash, so my aunt had her cremated in Santa Fe, not even knowing if that was my mom’s wishes or not. She brought the ashes to my dad in case I would want them.”

There were so many parts of our past that were identical.

All except for this.

My heart was shattered for ten-year-old Grayson.

I had no idea if this was the reason why he was so antirelationship or why he proclaimed he’d be single for the rest of his life, but I had a feeling his mother had a lot to do with it.

Not just in the way she treated his father.

But in the way she abandoned Grayson.

If he didn’t settle down, he’d never have to worry about the woman leaving him. If he didn’t develop feelings, he’d never have to worry about getting his heart broken.

I hated this for him.

But I also hated this for me.

“Do you have the ashes?” I asked.

“Fuck no. I want nothing to do with her. I especially don’t want the remains of her.” He took a long drink, holding the beer in his mouth before he swallowed. “My father is my best friend. We agree on almost everything, but when he kept those ashes and couldn’t part with them, that’s where we differ. I can’t understand that after all the things she did to him, he couldn’t let go. That he has such a goddamn soft spot for that woman.”

I could hear the resentment.

How his father’s softness hadn’t been passed down to Grayson.

“Love never dies,” I whispered.

He looked at me as he said, “I wouldn’t know, and she’s why I never plan to know.”

Those words prickled my skin.

And once that phase ended, they stung.

And once that ran its course, they slapped.

Over and over.

I was right: she was the reason.

I supposed it made sense and maybe I would feel the same way if I were him.

Or maybe I’d want to find the opposite of what his parents had. I’d want to find my person, the one I could trust implicitly, who would become my forever, giving them every single part of me without any reservation.

After this conversation, I wished that over the last few dates and the time we’d spent together, I hadn’t thought that person could be Grayson.

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