Page 125 of The Influencer

“And it doesn’t matter at all that I was sucking someone else’s dick while you were in the next room?”

I wish I’d been in the same room, but I also realize this is a trick question, and I have a feeling he’s not going to like my answer, but I’m not going to lie either.

“You realize I knew what you did for a living when I paid to suck your nipples and cock, right? When I forked over a grand for the privilege of fucking you. Right?”

“It’s not the only thing I do for a living, you know? You saw my spreadsheets.”

I point at his phone. “And that’s your second-highest earner. Yeah. I’m familiar with your income streams.”

“And on that spreadsheet did you see a miscellaneous category?”

I scowl. “No.”

“I wasn’t being serious when I took money from you for sex. If you hadn’t noticed, I gave it all back.”

I haven’t noticed. It’s not like I’ve been checking my emails or my bank account regularly the last few days. I’ve been focused on… other things. “Your point being…?”

“I don’t know,” he cries. “I don’t like this.”

I sit back to give him some space and see him better. “Which part?”

“I don’t know,” he says, more pitifully this time. “I had this whole life before I started hooking up with you, and it was fine, but when I look at it now, I don’t know what to think.”

“Wait—so where do I fit into this existential crisis?”

“I get that you knew what you were getting into—I mean I basically let you think I was a prostitute—but I never felt cheap doing it.”

“But you do now?”

“I don’t know,” he says one more time, with feeling.

“Jade,” I say carefully.

He manages to meet my eyes.

“I’m okay with you fucking other people for a living.”

35

jade

I should be relieved, I guess. This should feel like a load off. You’d think I’d be grateful that Asher doesn’t judge me or isn’t jealous about my past. Anyone who does what I do should be so lucky. But I’m not relieved. I’m pissed, and I’m fucking hurt, and I want to spite him in whatever way I can think of, but that’s the problem—I can’t think of anything that would penetrate his very obviously dead heart.

I fucking hate Olivia for getting her claws into him and tearing him to shreds. For destroying this beautiful man before I got a chance to meet him.

At first, I thought she’d done me some big favor by turning Asher away so he could not have any qualms about wanting me, but now I see our current situation for what it really is. I’m a goddamn rebound.

A fun foray into the wonders of cock and anal sex before he can really dive into the LA scene once I’m gone. If nothing else proves it, his rock-hard erection at the sight of me fucking Gage’s mouth certainly should. And I get the message. He likes the manwhore. Not the me.

And love isn’t anywhere in this equation—it’s an imaginary number on my side of things that’s had no impact on his feelings for me whatsoever. If what he just said is true—that he has no problems with me fucking other people for a living—then I guess I should start charging him again.

“Aren’t I the luckiest girl in the world,” I say coolly.

He rolls his eyes and flops onto his back. “Now who’s judging?”

“What am I judging?” I ask, flustered.

“I don’t know. A kink maybe? I’d been getting off to porn exclusively for a year and half before I met you, and you just showed me porn with the sexiest dude alive, and I’m not allowed to enjoy that?”

---